"Help" for jaina47
Sep. 30th, 2008 11:45 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
pixie-on-acid.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
ncisficathonTitle: Help
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
pixie_on_acid (pinch hitting)
Written for:jaina47
Archive: Sure, but credit me.
Pairings: Slight Ziva/Abby, if you look at it right.
Prompt: Story 3: Abby gets in over her head and this time she turns to Ziva first.
Rating: PG, if even that.
Disclaimer: I own neither NCIS, nor the characters involved. They belong to CBS Television. I realise no financial return from these works, they are for entertainment purposes only.
Word Count: 1,300 (approx) (not including headers)
Credits: Beta'd by the wonderfulrinkle
Summary:
Help
"I think I need to have someone killed."
Ziva looked up from her desk, raising an eyebrow. "Indeed?" Oddly, Abby was both the last and the first person she'd expect to make such a pronouncement. Last, because she couldn't imagine any circumstance under which Abby would take such an extreme circumvention of the law, and first because… well… it was Abby. What was strange was that she hadn't asked Gibbs. "What did Tony do this time?"
"Not Tony!" Abby stomped a foot impatiently. "This is important. And I can't ask Gibbs because of what happened the last time…s." The pluralisation of 'time' was barely audible.
"I see." Ziva relaxed slightly. Just slightly. It was unlikely she'd actually be called upon to… deal with the problem in the manner Abby initially suggested. More than likely the girl – it was a little hard to think of someone who wore pigtails and squealed that much as a woman – just wanted advice.
"And anyway… hi, Tony!" Abby nearly jumped high enough to touch the ceiling.
"Abbs." He looked back and forth between Abby and Ziva, his face registering blatant curiosity.
"I'll talk to you later." The look Abby directed at Ziva was probably meant to be stern, and it was all Ziva could do to keep a straight face.
"Later." One good thing about this, she'd have something to annoy Tony with for… for a day at least, before he lost interest.
'Later' ended up a mere two hours later, when Gibbs sent her to Abby's lab. "Out of curiosity," Ziva hazarded, "why do you need someone killed?"
"This." Abby grabbed her arm and dragged her to one of the coolers, looking around surreptitiously before opening the door.
Ziva looked inside. She blinked. "Oh. That is just wrong." A dozen roses had been concealed inside, each one an impossibly bright shade of pink. They were garish in their pinkness, a colour that simply could not have been achieved through Nature alone. Ziva couldn't think of a woman in existence who would truly appreciate roses like those, let alone one with Abby's sense of… anything.
"I know! And it came with this!" Abby plucked a card from amongst the flowers and shoved it at Ziva. "How disgusting is that?"
"Beside your beauty, even these roses fade." Ziva had to read the card a couple of times to believe it. "Who is this person?"
"See? You think it's creepy, too! His name is Garrett, and he just moved in two floors below me. I thought he'd be cool, because when he moved in, he had a truly sweet custom set-up. So, we kind of hung out and talked, compared stories – the man is an encryption genius -- and it was all cool, until… this." Abby gestured again at the flowers.
"Not cool," Ziva guessed.
"Totally not cool. Plus, he pushes love-notes under my door, phones me all the time… He's worse than McGee. He calls me the girl of his dreams. He left a teddy bear for me in the hallway. It's all very, very creepy."
"I can imagine." It was strange the way Abby always seemed to end up with the stalkers and the psychos. Even given her strange tastes in fashion and discussion topics, she still shouldn't attract the quantity she did. At the same time, it was obvious that Gibbs didn't need to know anything just yet. There was no way of knowing how truly dangerous this Garrett was without meeting him, and Gibbs would move straight into threats. To be fair, the man was quite protective of Abby, and she did have a history of people trying to kill her. Were she a spy, or even a field agent, that would make sense. Forensic science was not supposed to be a hazardous profession, despite what the television shows would have you believe.
"So will you help me?" The look Abby gave was so full of pleading, Ziva couldn't ignore it. Nobody could ignore it. It was compulsion distilled. Ziva wished she could pull such a look off. It would make getting out of certain situations so much easier.
"I will help you," Ziva said. "Let me talk to this…" She paused, looking at the flowers again. They really were hideous. "…this Garrett, and see what I can arrange."
"Ziva, you're the best!" The hug Abby gave could best be described as an attack. It took a lot of will to overcome the instinct to defend against it. "And if you do have to kill him, I know a lot of ways to do so where only the best forensic scientist – a.k.a. me – would know it was murder."
"Of course." She didn't bother to tell the girl that if she had to kill the man, it was doubtful anyone would actually find a body.
She knocked on the door, feeling a little foolish. She promised Abby she would help, but supposing this Garrett was as pathetic as his flowers and notes made him seem? Wasn't it somewhat overkill to send an assassin to his door? She tried to tell herself that it was fitting, and that she was here to kill his hopes, but that was like something Garrett would write.
The door inched open slightly, and a pale face peered through the crack. "I am sorry, but I do not allow strangers entre to my apartment." He sounded… pathetic. He was just like his poetry.
"What about Abby?" Ziva poured acid into her voice. Make the little man tremble, and he'd do whatever she asked.
"I know Abby. I don't know you." Pathetic gave way to petulant. "What do you want?"
"Stay away from her." She prayed to God to give her the patience not to beat the man to death with his own door. That would be messy, and probably not on the list of methods recommended by Abby.
"But I can't!" He protested. "She is beautiful. She is wonderful. She is life…"
"And I am death." Ziva didn't let him get started on what was bound to be a hyperbolic rampage. "If you do not stay away from her. Completely away. No phone calls, no emails – or any other computer contact – no teddy-bears, no flowers, no… especially no love notes. It would probably even be best if you were to find a new place to live. Possibly in another city. Do you understand me?"
"No. How can I not tell…"
Ziva slammed one hand against the door, causing Garrett to stumble backwards. "Abby wishes you to leave her alone. I agree. She has no time for a snivelling little worm like you."
"Wha…" Suddenly the look on Garrett's face changed into one of comprehension. "Ohh. I see. Well, that of course changes everything. I mean… I understand why she wouldn't be interested if… I'm sorry. I didn't know."
Didn't know… For a moment Ziva wondered if the little man had really lost his mind, when she realised what he must be thinking. Instinctively she moved to deny it, but caught herself before she could. If allowing Garrett to think she was merely defending her claim would keep him from harassing Abby, would that not be worth it? After all, it was only a petty man's thoughts. It wasn't like telling, say, Tony, who would then make lewd suggestions and comments forever. "Yes. So, stay away." Vaguely, she wondered what Abby's reaction would be upon hearing the news. With Abby, it was anyone's guess.
Abby frowned. She tilted her head. She seemed to be thinking. "So… Garrett is still going away, right?"
"Right." Ziva leaned on the edge of the lab bench, bracing herself for just about anything. "He seemed rather relieved, actually."
Abby nodded and turned to her computer, tapping a few keys and glaring at the screen before spinning around to focus the glare on Ziva. "That is not what I asked you to do."
"No," Ziva admitted. "But the end goal has still been accomplished. And look on the bright side, Abby."
"What bright side?" Abby scowled, but it still didn't look threatening. She never could.
Ziva shrugged. "At least I will never send you bright pink flowers."
Author:
pixie_on_acid (pinch hitting)Written for:
jaina47Archive: Sure, but credit me.
Pairings: Slight Ziva/Abby, if you look at it right.
Prompt: Story 3: Abby gets in over her head and this time she turns to Ziva first.
Rating: PG, if even that.
Disclaimer: I own neither NCIS, nor the characters involved. They belong to CBS Television. I realise no financial return from these works, they are for entertainment purposes only.
Word Count: 1,300 (approx) (not including headers)
Credits: Beta'd by the wonderful
rinkleSummary:
I think I need to have someone killed.
"I think I need to have someone killed."
Ziva looked up from her desk, raising an eyebrow. "Indeed?" Oddly, Abby was both the last and the first person she'd expect to make such a pronouncement. Last, because she couldn't imagine any circumstance under which Abby would take such an extreme circumvention of the law, and first because… well… it was Abby. What was strange was that she hadn't asked Gibbs. "What did Tony do this time?"
"Not Tony!" Abby stomped a foot impatiently. "This is important. And I can't ask Gibbs because of what happened the last time…s." The pluralisation of 'time' was barely audible.
"I see." Ziva relaxed slightly. Just slightly. It was unlikely she'd actually be called upon to… deal with the problem in the manner Abby initially suggested. More than likely the girl – it was a little hard to think of someone who wore pigtails and squealed that much as a woman – just wanted advice.
"And anyway… hi, Tony!" Abby nearly jumped high enough to touch the ceiling.
"Abbs." He looked back and forth between Abby and Ziva, his face registering blatant curiosity.
"I'll talk to you later." The look Abby directed at Ziva was probably meant to be stern, and it was all Ziva could do to keep a straight face.
"Later." One good thing about this, she'd have something to annoy Tony with for… for a day at least, before he lost interest.
'Later' ended up a mere two hours later, when Gibbs sent her to Abby's lab. "Out of curiosity," Ziva hazarded, "why do you need someone killed?"
"This." Abby grabbed her arm and dragged her to one of the coolers, looking around surreptitiously before opening the door.
Ziva looked inside. She blinked. "Oh. That is just wrong." A dozen roses had been concealed inside, each one an impossibly bright shade of pink. They were garish in their pinkness, a colour that simply could not have been achieved through Nature alone. Ziva couldn't think of a woman in existence who would truly appreciate roses like those, let alone one with Abby's sense of… anything.
"I know! And it came with this!" Abby plucked a card from amongst the flowers and shoved it at Ziva. "How disgusting is that?"
"Beside your beauty, even these roses fade." Ziva had to read the card a couple of times to believe it. "Who is this person?"
"See? You think it's creepy, too! His name is Garrett, and he just moved in two floors below me. I thought he'd be cool, because when he moved in, he had a truly sweet custom set-up. So, we kind of hung out and talked, compared stories – the man is an encryption genius -- and it was all cool, until… this." Abby gestured again at the flowers.
"Not cool," Ziva guessed.
"Totally not cool. Plus, he pushes love-notes under my door, phones me all the time… He's worse than McGee. He calls me the girl of his dreams. He left a teddy bear for me in the hallway. It's all very, very creepy."
"I can imagine." It was strange the way Abby always seemed to end up with the stalkers and the psychos. Even given her strange tastes in fashion and discussion topics, she still shouldn't attract the quantity she did. At the same time, it was obvious that Gibbs didn't need to know anything just yet. There was no way of knowing how truly dangerous this Garrett was without meeting him, and Gibbs would move straight into threats. To be fair, the man was quite protective of Abby, and she did have a history of people trying to kill her. Were she a spy, or even a field agent, that would make sense. Forensic science was not supposed to be a hazardous profession, despite what the television shows would have you believe.
"So will you help me?" The look Abby gave was so full of pleading, Ziva couldn't ignore it. Nobody could ignore it. It was compulsion distilled. Ziva wished she could pull such a look off. It would make getting out of certain situations so much easier.
"I will help you," Ziva said. "Let me talk to this…" She paused, looking at the flowers again. They really were hideous. "…this Garrett, and see what I can arrange."
"Ziva, you're the best!" The hug Abby gave could best be described as an attack. It took a lot of will to overcome the instinct to defend against it. "And if you do have to kill him, I know a lot of ways to do so where only the best forensic scientist – a.k.a. me – would know it was murder."
"Of course." She didn't bother to tell the girl that if she had to kill the man, it was doubtful anyone would actually find a body.
She knocked on the door, feeling a little foolish. She promised Abby she would help, but supposing this Garrett was as pathetic as his flowers and notes made him seem? Wasn't it somewhat overkill to send an assassin to his door? She tried to tell herself that it was fitting, and that she was here to kill his hopes, but that was like something Garrett would write.
The door inched open slightly, and a pale face peered through the crack. "I am sorry, but I do not allow strangers entre to my apartment." He sounded… pathetic. He was just like his poetry.
"What about Abby?" Ziva poured acid into her voice. Make the little man tremble, and he'd do whatever she asked.
"I know Abby. I don't know you." Pathetic gave way to petulant. "What do you want?"
"Stay away from her." She prayed to God to give her the patience not to beat the man to death with his own door. That would be messy, and probably not on the list of methods recommended by Abby.
"But I can't!" He protested. "She is beautiful. She is wonderful. She is life…"
"And I am death." Ziva didn't let him get started on what was bound to be a hyperbolic rampage. "If you do not stay away from her. Completely away. No phone calls, no emails – or any other computer contact – no teddy-bears, no flowers, no… especially no love notes. It would probably even be best if you were to find a new place to live. Possibly in another city. Do you understand me?"
"No. How can I not tell…"
Ziva slammed one hand against the door, causing Garrett to stumble backwards. "Abby wishes you to leave her alone. I agree. She has no time for a snivelling little worm like you."
"Wha…" Suddenly the look on Garrett's face changed into one of comprehension. "Ohh. I see. Well, that of course changes everything. I mean… I understand why she wouldn't be interested if… I'm sorry. I didn't know."
Didn't know… For a moment Ziva wondered if the little man had really lost his mind, when she realised what he must be thinking. Instinctively she moved to deny it, but caught herself before she could. If allowing Garrett to think she was merely defending her claim would keep him from harassing Abby, would that not be worth it? After all, it was only a petty man's thoughts. It wasn't like telling, say, Tony, who would then make lewd suggestions and comments forever. "Yes. So, stay away." Vaguely, she wondered what Abby's reaction would be upon hearing the news. With Abby, it was anyone's guess.
Abby frowned. She tilted her head. She seemed to be thinking. "So… Garrett is still going away, right?"
"Right." Ziva leaned on the edge of the lab bench, bracing herself for just about anything. "He seemed rather relieved, actually."
Abby nodded and turned to her computer, tapping a few keys and glaring at the screen before spinning around to focus the glare on Ziva. "That is not what I asked you to do."
"No," Ziva admitted. "But the end goal has still been accomplished. And look on the bright side, Abby."
"What bright side?" Abby scowled, but it still didn't look threatening. She never could.
Ziva shrugged. "At least I will never send you bright pink flowers."
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Date: 2008-10-01 11:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-01 08:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-01 04:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-01 08:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-01 05:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-01 08:28 pm (UTC)This was actually a lot of fun to write. A fantastic prompt. :)
no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 02:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 05:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 03:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 05:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 07:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-03 09:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 10:59 pm (UTC):-)
no subject
Date: 2008-10-03 09:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-03 10:36 pm (UTC)Tonight, I enjoyed reading your fic very much.
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Date: 2008-11-04 09:46 pm (UTC)But yes,