For nakeisha. Never Again

[adriannacoylho.livejournal.com]

Title: Never Again
Author: adriannacoylho

Written for: nakeisha
Prompt: Gibbs/Ducky established relationship. Gibbs has a case to solve and the only person who can help him is Ducky.
Archive: If you like! Just ask.
Genre: Slash, ER
Pairings: Gibbs/Ducky
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine, not profiting, will put back neat and tidy.
Word Count: 5,568
Summary: Sometimes knowing the risk just isn’t enough. Many thanks to periwinkle27 for her beta'ing skills.

“Well, Mr. Palmer, it looks as if we have yet again done ourselves a disservice in our efficiency.”

Jimmy smiled as Ducky turned in front of him so he could untie his scrubs.

“I guess we’ll have to do that paperwork now, Doctor.”

Ducky smiled now too, because a solution to their problem might well be walking through their doors. As Gibbs swung into Autopsy, he and Ducky exchanged an intimate gaze before launching into their more public discourse.

“Nice to see you, Jethro, but I’m afraid we don’t have anything for you down here. Rather slow business. Did you want something?”

“Actually yeah, Duck.” Gibbs glanced briefly at Palmer, as if considering for a moment, but then continued. “We got a case upstairs that might need some psychological profiling - in the field – you up for it, Duck?”

Ducky’s eyes shone. Free from his scrubs he walked with extra bounce past Gibbs towards his coat.

“I most certainly am.”

Jimmy enjoyed seeing his boss so enthused, but something about the way Gibbs glanced at Jimmy again made him a little nervous. He had held something back. Jimmy knew about their relationship, so it wasn’t as if Gibbs had that to be cautious about. He watched the pair thoughtfully, smiling briefly as Ducky waved to him as he left the room with Gibbs’s hand at his back.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Watching the elevator doors close, Jethro turned to Ducky.

“You remember Switzerland, Duck?”

This gave Ducky pause. He looked questioningly up at his lover.

“Yes, Jethro. How could I forget?”

Jethro took a breath.

“Seems it may have finally followed us back here.”

“Oh,” was all Ducky could think to add. Many thoughts passed through his mind at that moment. He remembered how he’d finally had a taste of the life Jethro led, something he would always be grateful for, but nonetheless that had had complications. Obviously those complications weren’t over.

“I have to go ask some questions of someone in the Charleton case, but I discovered he has connections in common with us from back then.”

“Burckhardt?”

“Burckhardt.”

Jethro watched his lover’s reaction carefully before continuing. Ducky was running the rim of his hat back and forth through his fingers as he processed the information.

“He might show up...”

“And you need me to keep an eye out.”

“Yeah, you know I can’t...”

“Make it known that we know him or indeed bring up a likeness of him for anyone else to recognise. Yes, I understand, Jethro.”

Jethro watched as Ducky suddenly put his hat on, a sign Jethro knew meant he had made a decision. Ducky moved into Jethro’s side.

“I’ll do it, if you do one thing for me...”

“Name it, Duck.”

“Kiss me.” Ducky smiled up at his lover.

Jethro took the rim of Ducky’s hat in one hand, the back of Ducky’s neck in the other and leant in to do just that. Ducky melted under his touch. After a much shorter time than either of them would have liked, Jethro reluctantly broke away. They had to get going. He laughed lightly.

“Anything for a kiss eh, Duck?” He gently squeezed his lover’s neck before letting him go.

“Well, not for any kiss no, but for your kisses.” Ducky’s voice was still husky. He cleared his throat a little as he tried to pull himself back together. Jethro watched him with a smile playing on his lips. He loved the effect he had on him and right now it was a welcome distraction.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ducky watched from the corner of the bar as Gibbs approached a table. They had both decided Ducky should keep a low profile, even from the rest of the team. They knew he was there, for safety’s sake, but Gibbs had decided against an earwig. Ducky was more than happy with that. Good old-fashioned hand signals would be good enough here.

Ducky couldn’t help admiring his lover as he kept vigil. He worked so smoothly, with so much confidence. He was rather glad he wasn’t the one under scrutiny though.

Tony, Ziva and McGee were out in the surveillance van.

“Any idea why Ducky’s in there?” McGee’s eyes didn’t move from the monitor as he spoke.

“If Gibbs wanted us to know he would have told us. Keep your eyes on our wandering boy there, McCurious.”

Their second target was becoming a nuisance; he was wandering about the bar and the street outside causing them to constantly flick between cameras and microphones.  It was distracting.

“He is talking a call.” Ziva had spotted a slight change in the posture of their second target. Sure enough, as the others scrutinised him they began to see his lips move. Suddenly he switched direction and headed into the alley beside the bar.

“Damn it, you’re up, McGee. Don’t miss anything while we’re gone.”

McGee pulled a weary face at them as Tony and Ziva leapt from the back of the van to follow.

“Awww, smile, Tim. At least you get some peace now.” McGee smiled self-consciously at the sound of the voice through his earpiece. He didn’t really consider he would have much more ‘peace’ now she was talking to him, but he wasn’t complaining.

“Don’t you know it’s rude to spy on people, Abby?”

“Hey.”

McGee imagined the shoulder punch she would have given him if they were in the lab together. He heard her match his laugh over the comm.

“Have they got him yet?”

McGee watched the alley camera as Tony and Ziva gave chase to their startled suspect.

“They could be a while... Wait - someone’s approached Ducky.”

“Anyone we know?”

“No, do you think Gibbs has noticed?”

“Could just be a friend of Ducky’s, McGee, aaaand Gibbs is looking a little busy right now.”

McGee was watching the same screen; the conversation had turned a little physical, albeit under the table Gibbs was sitting at. McGee swore as he quickly switched his attention between each monitor. Tony and Ziva seemed to have their hands fuller than Gibbs, who hadn’t signalled for any assistance just yet, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t. Meanwhile Ducky’s companion had pulled him up by the arm and was escorting him out the back of the bar.

“Abby? You getting this?” McGee’s voice had escalated.

“Go after him, McGee, he’s got Ducky!”

“Abby, I can’t leave the van.”

“Then you have to tell Gibbs.” Abby was sounding panicked now.

McGee switched comms. “Boss, Ducky just got escorted from the bar by an unidentified and Tony and Ziva are otherwise engaged.”

Gibbs was trying to focus on the matter in hand, but this interruption he couldn’t ignore. Glancing up he confirmed that Ducky was indeed gone and he knew he hadn’t passed his table on the way out. Looking back at his companion he swore internally. He really shouldn’t leave this now, but damn it, Ducky. Decision already made, Gibbs leapt from the table with the intention to sprint for the back door. His companion had other ideas however and floored him before he’d got a couple of paces.

“Worried what our mutual friend might do to yer lover boy ey, Agent Gibbs?” Gibbs could feel the blade at his back as the guy pinned him to the carpet.

McGee could almost hear the shock in Abby’s silence; after all he was feeling it too. The situation was completely out of hand. He’d tried calling up Tony and Ziva but Tony had taken a knock-out punch in their encounter so Ziva was on her own anyway. They were all on their own and all in trouble. What the hell was he supposed to do? No-one had backup.

“Abby, what do I do?”

“You have to call in another team...”

“It’ll be over in seconds, Abby.”

“Then get in there, send all the feeds to me and get in there.”

McGee hit a few keys before grabbing his gun and flying out the back of the van.

Back in the lab Abby hit some keys too, before moving across and just staring, hands to her face, at the multiple feeds she had pulled up on her big screen. Tony was down, unconscious; Ziva was only just on top of the situation after two other guys had sprung themselves on them. She was in a corner and struggling. Gibbs was getting a pep-talk from the guy pinning him down, the rest of the bar seemingly in no hurry to help; well not help Gibbs anyway. Another two had already positioned themselves over the pair, making sure with the occasional prod of their boots that Gibbs didn’t get up.

McGee was positioned at the front door, trying to assess his best course of action as he called for backup. He needed at least one other agent to take on any of the situations he was faced with, but right now he didn’t have that option. He had no idea where Ducky was. Considering the number of unknowns in the bar, he decided he’d have to wait to help Gibbs. He just prayed nothing happened that he couldn’t handle in that time. Backup successfully summoned, McGee spun to head for the alley.

Face pressed to the floor, Gibbs considered his options. There didn’t appear to be many. Without backup he was pretty much at his captors’ mercy right now and they would know not to hang about. Sure enough, he felt his companion begin to lift him from the floor. He was about to take his opportunity when he heard three shots ring out outside the bar. Finding himself firmly put down again Gibbs found it hard to breathe. He had no intel coming into his earpiece; no one was talking to him. He already knew Tony was down, relatively unharmed, but down. He hoped, for his sake, that McGee was still in the van but right now he doubted it. That meant two agents and Ducky unaccounted for in the radio silence.

Abby had watched their reactions to the gunshots. All she got from Gibbs’s cam was heavy, irregular breathing and carpet. At least he was definitely breathing. McGee and Ziva’s reaction to the shots had been one of fear too, but they had held it in and used it to take advantage of their opponents’ distraction. They finally had the upper hand. McGee quickly restrained two of them as necessary; Ziva had just knocked hers out before running to Tony’s side. He had been unconscious and unchecked for a good few minutes now. Finding him relatively unhurt, Ziva took his set of cuffs for the last assailant and finished the job before looking to McGee as he tried to raise Gibbs. Getting no response, he called through to Abby.

“He’s still on the floor, McGee; he’s breathing but that’s all I’ve got. Where the hell is the second team? And where were those shots? I couldn’t see them.”

Ziva had a thought. “Which microphone picked up the shots the loudest, Abby?”

Abby jumped into action; this she could do.

“Three. Back door.”

McGee and Ziva looked at each other. It could have been at the far end of the bar or out back, either way they had to go in through the front to secure the area and free Gibbs. Weapons drawn, they headed for the front. McGee relayed a sit. rep. to the incoming team as they moved.

Abby watched them burst in the front door. She jumped defensively as she saw Gibbs take a boot to his ribs when he tried to free himself at their entrance. Guns drawn and harsh words from Ziva and McGee eventually got Gibbs released. He stood quickly and drew his own weapon as he turned to address McGee.

“The shots?”

“Not with us, Boss. Back door mic. picked it up loudest.”

Gibbs’s heart went cold. He resisted the urge to react, to head for the back door. They had to get this situation under control first. Ziva was moving forward under his and McGee’s cover to take the men into custody; he couldn’t move yet. But his heart was being pulled towards the back, towards wherever those shots had rung out. It had been so long since then. He silently prayed.

Abby thought time slowed down as she saw the second team move into the front. She heard them announce themselves, first over the comm. to Gibbs’s team, then publicly as they moved in. Situation in their favour, Gibbs turned for the back door. McGee made a gesture at Ziva and sprinted after him. Abby found she still wasn’t able to breathe.

“Ducky,” she whimpered.

Gibbs flew out the back door, nearly taking the thing off its hinges. He swung quickly to clear the area, then stopped dead in his tracks. McGee pulled up sharp behind him. Ducky was kneeling a few feet from them, head on his chest. Gibbs forced his legs to work again and stumbled over to his lover’s side. McGee stood over them watching.

Gibbs lifted Ducky’s chin. He looked back at him with cold eyes.

“Not again, Jethro, not again.” It was barely a whisper.

Looking down at his own hands, Ducky tipped the gun he was holding out of his grip in disgust. Gibbs took his hands, resisting the urge to pull him into an embrace just yet. Gibbs was able to breathe again now he had made a reasonable assessment of Ducky’s physical state. He wasn’t seriously injured, but Gibbs had to know.

“What did he do to you, Duck?”

Ducky tried to avoid his eyes, but Gibbs gently took his bruised cheek and turned his head. Ducky’s eyes told him everything he needed to know. Gibbs wished the guy was still alive so he could kill him himself. No-one touched his Duck that way. Not against his will. Taking him in his arms Gibbs pulled him close, but Ducky remained stiff in the embrace. Gibbs fought back a sob.

McGee knelt next to the body he had found slumped down the side of the dumpster. Three shots, most probably every one a kill shot. Ducky had clearly wanted him dead. He guessed this was one autopsy Ducky wouldn’t be doing. Looking back he saw his boss failing to comfort Ducky. He didn’t know what had happened here, but watching Ducky now he felt pure loathing for the man at his feet. McGee rose and turned from him. Someone else could deal with him. He deserved to lay here a little longer.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Many hours of questions, difficult explanations and paperwork took its toll on all of them. Gibbs was desperate to get Ducky home, away from all of this. He had driven them both back to NCIS and Ducky had at least allowed him to hold him properly before they left the car. It would take time, Gibbs knew and Ducky knew he would be there for him every step of the way. Gibbs pushed his own feelings of helplessness and inadequacy down. Ducky needed him. He would be there, in whatever way Ducky wanted.

Watching the Director’s door Gibbs tried to sit still. Finally Ducky emerged. Picking up Ducky’s hat and coat from his desk, Gibbs met him at the bottom of the stairs. Ducky looked into his eyes, for the first time voluntarily since the bar. Some of the guilt had gone, Gibbs could see that. The rest was for Gibbs to heal. He smiled at Ducky and gently squeezed his hand before swinging the coat about his shoulders and helping him into it. Ducky sighed deeply as Gibbs placed his hat on his head. Laying an arm over his darling’s shoulders, Gibbs began to walk them to the elevator and home to Reston.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The door swung shut behind him. Jethro watched his lover walk slowly through the hallway. He stopped, one hand on the banister. Jethro moved quickly as he saw Ducky’s head drop forward and his body begin to shake. Taking him firmly by the shoulders Jethro pulled his sobbing lover in close, as close as he could possibly hold him without hurting him.

Ducky sank into him. Finally he could allow himself to take the comfort Jethro offered and more. What he needed after today was something he wasn’t sure he would be able to vocalise even now. He couldn’t even think about it until that door had closed behind them. The whole day had been torture, waiting, just waiting.

Suddenly Ducky pulled away. First he had to shower, bathe, anything. He felt dirty, both the hand that had fired the gun and his whole being. His body had been roughly treated. That he could cope with, even at his age, but the caresses, his body betraying him as his tormentor deliberately made him think of Jethro. He felt sordid. He hadn’t even let him get very far. Burckhardt had only touched Ducky before his blood had boiled at the threats against him and his beloved and the M.E. had snatched the gun from the guy’s belt. Ducky closed his eyes as he thought back. He hadn’t been able to control himself enough to get any information out of Burckhardt before he shot him, something he worried Jethro might be regretting, not that he’d ever say anything to him. The Director hadn’t been happy with the situation as a whole, but it was only Jethro’s opinion that counted to Ducky on this occasion.

Jethro lifted Ducky’s chin, urging him to open his eyes. Ducky slowly obliged.

“I... I need...”

“To relax, Duck. I’ve got you now. Stop thinking. Stop beating yourself up for what happened. If I’d got out there sooner he’d have been just as dead. You hear me?” Jethro’s tone was one that he knew brooked no argument from Ducky. But then Jethro paused. He wasn’t sure he should ask, but it needed to be dealt with now if there was anything... “Duck? Is there anything you wanna tell me, need to tell me before...”

Ducky looked into his eyes properly now.

“He didn’t tell me anything, I didn’t wait to...”

“Okay, Duck, stop. That’s enough. I just needed to know.” Jethro took Ducky’s face firmly in both hands. “Don’t think about it anymore. I know you. Just stop that mind of yours from overworking this. Okay? Okay, Duck?”

Ducky searched Jethro’s eyes. There was no judgement there, only hope, willing Ducky to do as he bade him. Ducky let the realisation sink in properly and felt physically warmed by it. Of course Jethro wouldn’t have judged him for not waiting. He couldn’t believe how even his faith in his lover had been shaken by what had happened. In some ways such a small thing to happen, yet the emotional effect had been great for him, so much greater than it had all those years ago, but then he and Jethro hadn’t been properly together then. His world seemed smaller now; Jethro was his world out of and even in work. Jethro’s opinion of him was almost the only thing that he believed about himself anymore. Ducky shook himself. These thoughts were scaring him. He was becoming needy beyond anything he had imagined. He had always known Jethro would become more and more important to him as the years went on, but he didn’t want to become so reliant on him.

Jethro watched the grey-blue eyes cycle through almost relief then renewed pain. He processed his thoughts quickly, trying to keep up with his lover’s, trying to figure where those thoughts had ended up to bring new pain. Ducky needed him. That much he knew. He would have to take this healing slowly, not overwhelm him; that he also knew. Jethro ran his palm gently down Ducky’s cheek before briefly planting a soft, chaste kiss on his lips.

“Come on up and sit with me while I run you a bath, Duck. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want. Just... Just be near me, yeah?”

The touch gave Ducky a strange warm chill. It was Jethro, but his mind was drawn back to Burckhardt. The kiss both soothed and shook him, but the words cut through his thoughts. ‘Just be near me’ echoed. Ducky took Jethro’s advice and stopped thinking, just stopped. No more running in his mind. Taking his lover’s hand of his own volition, Ducky turned to walk up the stairs. Jethro rubbed his thumb against the side of his hand, still soothing, but gently, not too much, not yet. Ducky was grateful. The bath would help, though he wasn’t sure he could wash away the feeling on his skin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jethro watched Ducky carefully as he ran the bath and prepared fresh towels and nightclothes. He’d gone to leave Ducky only once, to get him a drink, but Ducky had followed him out as soon as he’d turned to the door. Jethro hadn’t ever seen him this clingy. He was beginning to understand the look in his eyes. Ducky knew how much he was relying on him tonight, to get him through this, and he clearly wasn’t comfortable with it. It scared him. Jethro couldn’t think how to soothe that part of his pain. He only hoped Ducky would realise that the feeling was mutual. He didn’t want Ducky out of his sight either. He, however, wasn’t afraid of the feeling. His love for Duck had deepened tenfold since they had been together. He had also found that the love was nothing like he had had for his wives. He relied on Duck, something he had never quite allowed himself to do with the women in his life. Ducky was different. Ducky was his life now. And he was welcome to it.

Running his hand through the water, Jethro paused. This was going to be hard for Duck. He wasn’t sure whether to turn away when Ducky undressed or be close to him, maybe even help him. He didn’t want him to think that he didn’t want to look at him or touch him - that was the last thing he wanted, but Ducky wasn’t comfortable in his own skin right now. Jethro looked up.

“Bath’s ready, love.”

Ducky gazed into his glass for a while longer before looking up at Jethro. The two men just studied each other for a minute, each trying to judge what the other was thinking. Ducky allowed a small smile to appear.

“We are both second guessing here, Jethro.”

Jethro smiled a little bashfully.

“Yeah.”

Ducky fiddled with the glass before setting it down and standing.

“Just... watch me?” Ducky was uncertain. Uncertain if this was what he really wanted as much as if he should ask it of Jethro.

Jethro stood, walked across the room and leant casually against the doorframe.

“Sure, Duck.” Hands crossed he held his gaze as Ducky began to divest himself of his clothing. Ducky unceremoniously dumped each item in a pile; he didn’t like the feel of these clothes enough to fold them after the hands that had been on them. Jethro could see that the clothes coming off was a release in itself. Ducky had shed a layer of the grime he felt. It showed. The M.E. looked back up at him with almost a true smile before reaching a hand out to him. Jethro pushed away from the doorframe and took it gratefully. He needed the contact as much as Ducky, but he couldn’t be the one to initiate it tonight.

Ducky walked over to the bath and stepped in, gratefully sinking into the cleansing heat as Jethro turned back to the pile of clothes. He looked back up at Ducky, to seek his approval to leave him for a moment. Ducky nodded. Closing his eyes as he settled back, Ducky waited until he heard Jethro close the door behind him. Now alone, slowly opening his eyes again, Ducky first took in the room. He was having a hard time moving his gaze down to his own body. Not that he’d see anything as such. He had a few bruises, that much he knew, but he wouldn’t be able to ‘see’ what was making him feel this way.

He lowered his gaze. Instantly thoughts of Burckhardt’s hands overwhelmed him. He jolted his head back, fighting the urge to cry again. One of the most important things to him when he and Jethro had finally consummated their relationship was the thought that no other man would ever do those things to him again. He would never be touched in that way by anyone else. And then Burckhardt had got to him, knowing what it would do to him, knowing exactly the sort of intimate touch that would hurt him most, emotionally if not physically. Burckhardt knew how to make the torture last beyond the physical. Bastard.

Jethro resisted the urge to hit the wall next to the laundry basket. He doubted Duck would be able to hear him down here in the utility room, but he wasn’t going to take the risk. So he stayed quiet, rage building up inside him. A thousand desperate wishes ran through his mind. Why couldn’t it have been him instead of Duck? It wouldn’t have affected him in the same way. It would have been just physical abuse to him. He was a marine; he could take it. But then they knew that, didn’t they? Bastards.

Duck was hurt, vulnerable, taken from him. He felt uneasy about touching his lover and his lover felt uneasy at his touch. They had brought the worst of the outside world into their home, their relationship, their intimacy. It wasn’t right. Duck was his. Jethro pushed the thoughts from his mind and the anger from his body as he headed back to his lover. Duck was his, and right now he needed him.

As Ducky steeled himself to look back down over his own form, he wanted, needed only Jethro. But he couldn’t think how. He wanted to wash the feeling of another man’s hands from his skin, but he didn’t even want to touch himself. It was almost as if his skin hurt with what his heart was feeling. Willing himself to get over it, pull himself together, wipe the thoughts from his memory, Ducky held his gaze on himself as he sensed his lover standing in the doorway.

Ducky’s pain was almost tangible to Jethro as he stood there. He could only guess at his thoughts, but he knew that he was struggling, unsure of what he wanted or needed to reverse the effect of the assault. Jethro made a decision.

Ducky didn’t raise his eyes, but still watched Jethro as he crossed the bathroom. He moved surely, with obvious intent. Ducky felt a little of the weight lift from him. Jethro would know what to do, know how to put him back together. He laid all his faith in his lover. If he was as reliant on him as he thought he was, he may as well take complete advantage of it and let it soothe him. No more being afraid of what was. He needed him and he was here. It was as simple as that.

Jethro could see Ducky finally give into the reliance. He had been right to make the first move. Kneeling beside the bathtub, he picked up a bar of soap and dipped his hands into the water next to Ducky. With one hand he quickly gave Ducky’s leg a reassuring squeeze before returning it to the other hand and the soap, lathering up. Moving up the bath he began at the chest. He moved his hands surely and lovingly over Ducky’s skin. He cleansed, rubbed and rinsed as he moved slowly around his torso, down each arm. This was neither foreplay nor clinical, it was a whole other display of the affection between them. Jethro was showing his love for every inch of Ducky’s being. Ducky just watched him, eyes moist. Occasionally a stray tear would trickle down a cheek, then Jethro would lean forward and kiss it away without a word before returning to his task. The feel of Ducky needing him completely under his hands and the taste of his tears on his lips pulled the bond between them so tight Jethro began to feel that he didn’t know where he ended and Ducky began. Ducky’s whole being had reached out to him without movement and wrapped itself around him. He was immersed in Ducky. Jethro felt that he too was consciously reaching out for Ducky with his mind, trying to draw him into him, where he could keep him safe, hold him close, soothe the pain and keep the wolves from his door.

Ducky watched Jethro, taking in the movement of his hands as they washed down his hips, the tilt of his head as his eyes caressed each part of him in turn. He tried to resist the urge to tense as Jethro’s lathered hands slid over his thighs. But his touch didn’t waiver. Jethro knew how he would feel when he reached this point. He gave the area the same loving attention he had all the rest of him so far. He could have put it off and moved onto his legs, but he must have known that would only have built up the tension. Ducky tried so desperately to relax as Jethro’s hands cleansed him intimately. He didn’t feel stimulated in the way his body had betrayed him earlier that day, but the loving touch carried so much more than the intentional caresses of the other man. Burckhardt had succeeded, made him hard, but Jethro took his soul and made it burn too. The tears fell freely now.

Jethro had made sure he got to this part as soon as he could without rushing the rest. All of his lover needed attention, but this part needed the most reassurance. Jethro knew Ducky intimately and he knew that his body would have betrayed him the more he tried to resist the assault. He had to cleanse and more importantly reclaim his place between his lover’s thighs. He needed to heal the unseen scars he carried there. Feeling his lover’s tension, resistance and fear, Jethro made sure he moved with confidence. Then he saw the tears begin to flow freely. Finished with all but Ducky’s legs, Jethro moved up the bath. Running his hands through the water and bringing them up to hold his lover’s face close against his, he kissed his cheeks, his eyes and his forehead in turn. Pulling back, he looked into Ducky’s eyes. There was no need for promises or apologies. They had no place in this exchange. It was pure; they were one. No one else was here now; it was just them.

~~~~~~~~

As Ducky stepped from the bath, Jethro wrapped the towel around him and rubbed through it a little before allowing him to carry on drying himself. Turning back to pick up the nightclothes he had arranged by the door, he quickly slipped from his own clothes down to his shorts. Turning back with Ducky’s pyjamas he saw the weariness in his lover. He quickly helped him finish off and slipped him into the fresh clothes. Having hung the towel and pulled the plug, Jethro took Ducky’s hand and led him from the room.

Ducky allowed himself to be led. As Jethro pushed open their bedroom door Ducky found he craved an embrace. He needed those arms around him, just to hold him as he slipped into sleep. Jethro folded back the covers and barely lost contact with him as he let him get into bed. He didn’t bother to walk round the bed. Jethro climbed in beside him, pulling him close, face to face. Ducky snuggled gratefully into his neck and held onto him. He drifted into slumber feeling the toned torso of his lover pressed against his, his lover’s heart beating through onto his cleansed skin. He had Jethro. Nothing else mattered.

~~~~~~~~~

Only a few hours could have passed. The night was still dark when he woke. Moonlight revealed the silver of his lover’s hair, his features, his eyes peacefully closed in sleep as Jethro held him even now. Ducky watched him in sleep. The night was so quiet. His thoughts were not. There was one thing he needed before he would feel right. He needed Jethro to make love to him. He needed to know that he could still enjoy their intimacy, that Jethro still wanted him that way. That was all. Reaching up a little Ducky kissed his sleeping lover’s lips. He stirred.

Slowly he revealed the blue of his eyes in the moonlight. Looking down at Ducky he saw the need.

“Jethro. Please, would you make love to me?”

The words were barely a whisper. Jethro pressed a kiss to Ducky’s forehead before moving his hands to begin caressing his sides.

“How, sweetheart?”

“Like this, with you right here, I need you close.”

Jethro nodded. He let his fingers flirt with Ducky’s back and waist, just as he knew he liked. He moved slowly, never taking his eyes from his lover’s. The night grew old as Jethro carefully, lovingly brought his lover up, loved him and brought him release and sweet slumber again, safely in his embrace.

“Never again, Duck.” Jethro whispered to his sleeping lover. “I won’t ever let that happen again.”

~Fin~

 

Comments

[nakeisha.livejournal.com]

*Wipes eyes*

*Hold out hand for tissues*

Wow.

Wow.

*Gulps*

Talk about angst! This is angst and a half.

I don't think anything I can say can really do justice to the power, the depth and the intensity of this story. Not just in terms of the case and what happened to poor, dear, Ducky, but in the love Jethro shows him. The way he knows what Ducky wants and, more importantly, needs. And the way he knows what he has to do, what he has to give Ducky even if Ducky doesn't quite know if he wants it.

I loved the bit in the lift with Jethro's comment 'anything for a kiss' and Ducky's reply *melts* Perfect.

The whole bar scene and the scenes with the kids were spot on and just right with the tension and the build-up and how concerned McGee was and I could tell how torn he was between staying in the van and going to help. That's one of the toughest decisions any agent has to make.

It chilled me when McGee knew that every shot Ducky had put into that bastard had been a kill shot.

And the chill and depth was made so much more and had such a deep impact by the fact that the abuse and killing happened off-screen.

I could feel Jethro's anger, pain and utter hatred, as well as how completely impotent he must have felt by the whole thing. He desperately wanted to hurt someone or kill them - that was clear. And yes, it would have been easier had it been done to Jethro, and that bastard did know that.

Poor, poor Ducky to have his body betray him - that would hurt him so much more than the actual abuse, so much more. The physical he could cope with, again that was clear and again the fact we're told it later than seeing it at the time made it all the more moving and intense.

Such beauty in the bathroom scenes before, during and after the bath - all done for one reason and one reason only: to love and heal Ducky. And Jethro showed Ducky just how loved, cherished, respected, understood, cared for, adored and so much more he was. Beautifully done; the beauty of it had me sniffing and blinking hard as much, if not more, than the reason for it.

And yes, I totally get Ducky needing Jethro to make love to him - he would. And Jethro would need it too. And that tiny scene with it was again done to perfection.

Thank you, Adrianna my dear, for this really beautiful, moving, tender, loving story - a love story.

*Hugs you very tightly*

[adriannacoylho.livejournal.com]

*passes tissues* *huggles*

So so glad this hit the spot. In hindsight, I really should have put an 'angst overload' warning up there ^ oops!

Glad you liked the bit in the lift - that was one of my favourites, even if it was 'calm before the storm'.

Really glad you thought the bar scene and kids worked well, I was a bit nervous about that! Thank you :)

:) I enjoyed writing McGee in this - I normally find him really hard to write, but the protective/capable side of him I like showed up, so glad that came through for you :)

Really happy that the G/D side really worked for you too *hugs you tight* Thank you for the lovely comments *blushes*

You are very welcome, my dear. It was a pleasure :)

*hugs you tightly back*

[nakeisha.livejournal.com]

*Takes gratefully* Thank you. *Huggles back*

*Smiles* It did, and no worries at all.

Oh, that was so lovely. And I can think of that every time they go into the lift together - hee.

It did really work well, so well.

Oh, really? I didn't know that. Oh, it did.

Ah, yes, that was so wonderful just so them and right.

Thank you again.

*Hugs tightly*

[periwinkle27.livejournal.com]

Check out the icon I made for you.
I told adriannacoylho that the angst would get you. :)

I usually don't like to read stories I beta'd as invariably I want to change something, but this held up really well, didn't it? She did a great job.

[nakeisha.livejournal.com]

Aww, that's lovely thank you - very appropriate.

Oh, yes! It certainly did.

Do you not? That's interesting. I don't feel like that. She did indeed. An excellent one.

[ashley-pitt.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow....

Took me three times starting to finish..

I was ascared.. ascared of the mega-angst.

But..it was...geez...*tissue, please*

So good.

[adriannacoylho.livejournal.com]

*hands over tissues*

Oh my! So glad you managed to get through it despite the mega angst and ultimately enjoyed it! *g*

Thank you so much *hugs*

[periwinkle27.livejournal.com]

Here's more tissues. :)
It was good, wasn't it?

[debbiemch.livejournal.com]

Wow, this was really brilliant. I love the stories where Ducky has been hurt in some way and Gibbs looks after him so wonderfully well. Such love and tenderness. Really great.

[adriannacoylho.livejournal.com]

Thank you! *blushes* Thanks for reading :)