Fic: Behind the Woman
Aug. 15th, 2011 10:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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ncisficathonTitle: Behind the Woman
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
heartundone
Written for:aerial312
Prompt: Something from Ziva's past before joining NCIS that's informed how she is today. Tali? Jenny?
Archive: Yes. Just tell me where
Genre: Gen, with a dash of het
Pairings: Tony/Ziva if you squint
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Still not mine. Never will be.
Word Count: 2525
Summary: Since she was six, Ziva knew what she wanted. Once she had it, she wasn't so sure.
Authors Note: Thank you tokytivafan and proseac1 for the beta. Any remaining mistakes are my own, and any timeline/age/factual differences between my story and the cannon story are intentional (because the cannon timeline is a little ... off.)
She was six when she learned she had a brother. He was in college, and showed up on her doorstep one summer morning. He introduced himself as Ari Haswari and asked to speak to Eli. He didn’t tell her who he was.
She stood at the doorway to her father’s office, spying, discovering what she could as she often did. Eli had trained her to spy and listen at a young age. She knew he didn’t believe she would use it against him. She only heard one word before she gasped, and ran from the doorway. Father. The word that fell naturally from Ari’s lips as he addressed Ziva’s father. There had to be a mistake.
She was six, too old to cry, but too young to know what else to do. Gasping for air and choking back sobs, she ran to her mother. Rivka only loved her when she was acting like a girl, and Ziva was sure this was a moment Rivka would love.
Instead of comfort she was turned away by Rivka’s soft-spoken words. Ari has come at last. No shock or denial from her mother, instead only a calm acceptance of something that had been coming. She ran from the room, the first tear falling from her eye before she could stop it. She ran to the spare bedroom and opened the wardrobe. Choking back a sniffle, she threw herself on the floor of the wardrobe and cuddled under the pile of blankets she had hidden there when her mother wasn’t looking. Grabbing a ragged stuffed bunny, she drew it to her and sobbed into it.
She fell asleep that way and didn’t wake until she heard the wardrobe door opening. She turned and tried to hide in the corner when she heard someone laugh softly and reach in to pull her out. She kicked at Ari as he lifted her from the wardrobe, blanket, stuffed bunny, and all.
Sitting down on the bed, he held her in his lap. When she kicked his leg he only laughed and wrapped the blanket around her.
“You must be Ziva.” He said grinning at her.
She frowned, trying to look angry. “Maybe.”
He laughed. “I know you are. I already met your sister. And I know there are only two of you.”
“I know who you are too.” She stuck out her chin. “And I do not like you.”
“Why not?” He asked, pretending to be offended.
“Because you think that my papa is your papa.”
Ari smiled. “He is my papa too. He met my mom years before he met yours. But he married your mom. That’s why you have his last name.”
Ziva narrowed her eyes. “I still do not like you.”
“Well, I like you. And you are stuck with me for the summer.”
***
She tried to avoid Ari, but he always managed to find her. When he caught her throwing knives at the side of the barn - something Eli had forbidden her to do - he only laughed and showed her a better way to hold the knife.
He was always there, silently watching, helping when he could. Making her stronger, better, happier. Her dad had treated her and Tali like boys since the day they could walk; he expected them to fall in line with very little instruction. Ari was different. He treated her with the respect that made her six year old chest puff up with pride.
***
When he left at the end of the summer to go back to school she cried for three days. She didn’t care who saw her, or who heard her. She was sure if her papa saw her broken heart, he would relent and allow Ari to come back.
Eli didn’t budge. He explained Ari was needed at school, and that he would grow up to be an important man one day. Ziva didn’t understand, all she wanted was her brother back. Eli was silent to her pleas. The only thing he would tell her was that Ari would return in the summer. Finally as she realized that her father would not relent she drew herself up and marched into his office.
“I want to join Mossad papa. I want to do what Ari does.”
Eli looked up from his paperwork. “When you are older Ziva. We will find somewhere in Mossad for you then.”
She narrowed her eyes. “With Ari.”
“Whatever you want. With Ari if you wish.” Eli said with a nod. “Perhaps you can work with him in the Kidon Unit.”
“Thank you papa.” She said a smile lighting up her face.
He smiled back at her and for a moment she thought she saw something in his eyes, but just as quickly it left and she pushed it from her six year old mind. Hugging him, she kissed his cheek and ran from the room, yelling for Tali.
***
“I want to go home.” Ziva crossed her arms and stared at her mother.
“This is home now Ziva.” Her mother answered calmly. “This is our new home.”
“I want to go home to Papa.” She insisted, her nine year old lower jaw quivering. “I want to go home right now.”
“We are not going back there Ziva. I do not want that life for you and Tali.”
“What about me? What about the life that I want?” She fired back.
Her mother shook her head. “You are nine years old. You are not old enough to choose your life.”
“I choose Papa. And Ari. And Mossad. You cannot stop me.” She said, storming from the room.
Once she got to her bedroom she started throwing the few clothes that weren’t skirts into her school bag. Part way into packing she heard someone crying and looked up to see Tali standing in the doorway. Sighing, she stopped packing and patted her bed. With a sob , Tali ran into the room and onto the bed. When Ziva sat down beside her, Tali wrapped her arms around her sister’s waist.
“Don’t leave me.” The seven year old wept into Ziva’s lap.
“You can come with me.” Ziva offered. “We can go home, live with Papa and Ari.”
Tali shook her head. “Want to stay here with Mama. You stay too.”
Ziva sighed and held onto her younger sister, the desire to run away leaving her for the moment. While she loved her father and brother, the love that she felt for her younger sister was still stronger.
***
“I hate you.” Ziva screamed as she slammed the door in Tali’s face.
Tali opened the door, invading her space. “No you don’t. If you did you would have locked your door.”
Ziva threw her knife at the doorframe, inches from Tali’s face. “You know Papa took the lock off my door.”
“Because he found you with a boy.”
Ziva rolled her eyes at her sister. “We were listening to music.”
“You are sixteen Ziva. You were alone with one of Ari’s college friends. Papa does not care what you do, just what it looks like you were doing.”
“Just because you hang all over Michael when Papa is not around does not mean I am a slut like you.” Ziva stared at her sister; proud of the way she could make tears spring into the fourteen year old’s eyes.
“Michael is not like the boys you hang out with Ziva. He’s different. He says he’s going to marry me when we’re old enough and we’ll run away and never worry about Mossad or the Kedon unit or any of it.”
“That is because Michael is a wuss. And I do not hang out with boys. I hang out with men.” Ziva grinned at her sister who was still wiping tears from her eyes. “Your Michael will never be a man.”
“They use you Ziva.” Tali whispered.
She shrugged. “Maybe I am the one using them. They teach me about the world. They teach me about other languages. They are helping to train me to be a control officer.”
“Come with me. When Michael and I leave, come with me.” Tali pleaded. “Don’t choose this life.”
“I chose it when I was six. I do not plan to change my mind.” Ziva said, crossing the room and pulling her knife from the wood. “I know what I am doing, little sister.”
“You will die young. And I will grow old alone, and my children will never know their aunt.” Tali said tearfully.
“You are still a child. When you grow up, you will understand.” Ziva said calmly. “And when you do, you will leave Michael and follow the family.”
Tali shook her head. “Never.”
***
Ziva hadn’t meant to sleep with Tali’s boyfriend after her funeral. But she couldn’t help it, and didn’t stop it. Her grief was silent, heavy, and Michael Rivkin offered to take that away for a moment. As they lay in his bed after, he turned to her and brushed a stray piece of hair from her face.
“I’m joining Mossad.”
“It is about time.” Ziva replied calmly.
“I told Tali I was going to join. And we fought. She said she’d never marry Mossad.”
Ziva closed her eyes and was silent. She couldn’t think about Tali’s position on Mossad. If she did she knew she wouldn’t be able to leave in the morning to begin her training.
“That’s why she was on the bus. I told her, and we fought, and she wouldn’t let me take her home.” Michael sighed. “And now she’s gone.”
“And you shall join Mossad. Avenge her death. Put the anger you feel to use.”
Michael nodded as she slid to the edge of the bed and began to pull her clothes on. She was thankful that he didn’t reach out to her or offer to let her spend the night.
“We’ll have to do this again sometime.” Michael said as her hand reached for her shoes.
She looked at him and nodded. “I am sure we will see each other in Mossad. And perhaps it will.”
***
After her first mission she went back to the apartment she shared with Ari and locked herself in her room. The mission had been a success. She had helped take out a Hamas terrorist cell, and she knew she should feel proud of what she did. She had looked a terrorist in the eyes and pulled the trigger.
Instead of proud she felt trapped. She didn’t regret what she had done, but she couldn’t help but feel that she had started down a path from which she could never escape from. Plot, plan, infiltrate, kill. That was the way she would live her life. She couldn’t help but feel that it was emptier then she had imagined when she was six.
She heard her bedroom door rattle, and knew the lock was being picked, but she didn’t have the energy to stop Ari from coming in. He entered, carrying a pizza box which he set down beside her. She braced herself for the pending lecture.
“After my first kill, I threw up.” Ari said softly as he gently rubbed her arm. “It gets easier Ziva.”
“It was not hard, Ari.” She looked up at him and shook her head. “I think that is the problem. I did not have to think about it, and I do not regret it.”
“That’s a good thing Ziva.”
She shrugged. “If you say so.”
***
Ari dropped a folder on her desk. “Dossiers. On all of these people.”
Ziva nodded and flipped the folder open. “Who are they?”
“NCIS. I will be interacting with them while I am in DC. I need to know everything you can find out.”
NCIS. Like Jenny. Ziva thought about speaking the words out loud and stopped herself. The Cairo mission was a touchy subject with Ari. Even though he never said it, she knew he was mad about her getting shot while saving an American.
Ziva nodded at Ari and opened the folder. Looking at the names and photos, she got to work. Leroy Jetho Gibbs, Special Agent. Anthony DiNozzo, Special Agent. Caitlin Todd, Special Agent. Timothy McGee, Special Agent. Abby Sciuto, Forensic Scientist.
She spent weeks going over their dossiers. Providing Ari with information became her only job. Even when he didn’t need information, she couldn’t keep herself from prying into their lives. She wasn’t sure what the attraction was; all she knew was that she couldn’t stop herself.
Ari had taken an interest in Caitlin Todd, and Ziva found that she was being forced to find more and more information on Caitlin. Three older brothers, an older sister. Every detail she found went straight to Ari. He became obsessed with everything Ziva could find, and she couldn’t help but ask him if he was falling in love with the attractive agent. Ari had denied it, but Ziva was sure his interest in Caitlin went beyond the mission.
Ziva wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but for every piece if intel she found for Ari about Caitlin, she found just as much on Anthony to satisfy her own growing curiosity. Perhaps Ari’s interest in Caitlin would make him lose interest in Mossad and defect to America. Maybe she could come with him. For a moment she wondered what it would be like to live in DC and have a chance at a real life.
Since Cairo, something in her had changed. The missions and the bloodshed felt unnecessary – like they were chasing an evil that they would never catch. She didn’t doubt that they were doing the right thing and chasing the right people, but it felt futile. The wishes of a six year old to work with her big brother were becoming overshadowed with assassination, bloodshed, and bullets that came too close for comfort. She didn’t know what life she would choose if she could go back and do it over, but she wasn’t sure this was that life.
***
His personality on paper was nothing like it was in person. As she crossed the floor, she watched him. His mannerisms and grin caught her eye. If she wasn’t mistaken, he was sitting at his desk in the middle of the day lost in a sexual fantasy. She knew from her research that he had a reputation, but she hadn’t expected this. He was more than what his dossier said he was. Reality sank in as she realized the biggest problem was that he believed her brother had killed Caitlin. This was not the way she had imagined meeting Anthony DiNozzo. She shook her head and demanded his attention, rattling him from his fantasy.
“...having phone sex?” She asked with a grin.
She wanted to skip the mission, stay in DC and never let him out of her sight. Unrealistic, but true. She had a job to do and there was no way to avoid it. It was what it was. And maybe, once she proved that her brother was innocent, she could get to know him in a way that was more intimate than words on paper.
Author:
heartundoneWritten for:
aerial312Prompt: Something from Ziva's past before joining NCIS that's informed how she is today. Tali? Jenny?
Archive: Yes. Just tell me where
Genre: Gen, with a dash of het
Pairings: Tony/Ziva if you squint
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Still not mine. Never will be.
Word Count: 2525
Summary: Since she was six, Ziva knew what she wanted. Once she had it, she wasn't so sure.
Authors Note: Thank you to
kytivafan and proseac1 for the beta. Any remaining mistakes are my own, and any timeline/age/factual differences between my story and the cannon story are intentional (because the cannon timeline is a little ... off.)She was six when she learned she had a brother. He was in college, and showed up on her doorstep one summer morning. He introduced himself as Ari Haswari and asked to speak to Eli. He didn’t tell her who he was.
She stood at the doorway to her father’s office, spying, discovering what she could as she often did. Eli had trained her to spy and listen at a young age. She knew he didn’t believe she would use it against him. She only heard one word before she gasped, and ran from the doorway. Father. The word that fell naturally from Ari’s lips as he addressed Ziva’s father. There had to be a mistake.
She was six, too old to cry, but too young to know what else to do. Gasping for air and choking back sobs, she ran to her mother. Rivka only loved her when she was acting like a girl, and Ziva was sure this was a moment Rivka would love.
Instead of comfort she was turned away by Rivka’s soft-spoken words. Ari has come at last. No shock or denial from her mother, instead only a calm acceptance of something that had been coming. She ran from the room, the first tear falling from her eye before she could stop it. She ran to the spare bedroom and opened the wardrobe. Choking back a sniffle, she threw herself on the floor of the wardrobe and cuddled under the pile of blankets she had hidden there when her mother wasn’t looking. Grabbing a ragged stuffed bunny, she drew it to her and sobbed into it.
She fell asleep that way and didn’t wake until she heard the wardrobe door opening. She turned and tried to hide in the corner when she heard someone laugh softly and reach in to pull her out. She kicked at Ari as he lifted her from the wardrobe, blanket, stuffed bunny, and all.
Sitting down on the bed, he held her in his lap. When she kicked his leg he only laughed and wrapped the blanket around her.
“You must be Ziva.” He said grinning at her.
She frowned, trying to look angry. “Maybe.”
He laughed. “I know you are. I already met your sister. And I know there are only two of you.”
“I know who you are too.” She stuck out her chin. “And I do not like you.”
“Why not?” He asked, pretending to be offended.
“Because you think that my papa is your papa.”
Ari smiled. “He is my papa too. He met my mom years before he met yours. But he married your mom. That’s why you have his last name.”
Ziva narrowed her eyes. “I still do not like you.”
“Well, I like you. And you are stuck with me for the summer.”
***
She tried to avoid Ari, but he always managed to find her. When he caught her throwing knives at the side of the barn - something Eli had forbidden her to do - he only laughed and showed her a better way to hold the knife.
He was always there, silently watching, helping when he could. Making her stronger, better, happier. Her dad had treated her and Tali like boys since the day they could walk; he expected them to fall in line with very little instruction. Ari was different. He treated her with the respect that made her six year old chest puff up with pride.
***
When he left at the end of the summer to go back to school she cried for three days. She didn’t care who saw her, or who heard her. She was sure if her papa saw her broken heart, he would relent and allow Ari to come back.
Eli didn’t budge. He explained Ari was needed at school, and that he would grow up to be an important man one day. Ziva didn’t understand, all she wanted was her brother back. Eli was silent to her pleas. The only thing he would tell her was that Ari would return in the summer. Finally as she realized that her father would not relent she drew herself up and marched into his office.
“I want to join Mossad papa. I want to do what Ari does.”
Eli looked up from his paperwork. “When you are older Ziva. We will find somewhere in Mossad for you then.”
She narrowed her eyes. “With Ari.”
“Whatever you want. With Ari if you wish.” Eli said with a nod. “Perhaps you can work with him in the Kidon Unit.”
“Thank you papa.” She said a smile lighting up her face.
He smiled back at her and for a moment she thought she saw something in his eyes, but just as quickly it left and she pushed it from her six year old mind. Hugging him, she kissed his cheek and ran from the room, yelling for Tali.
***
“I want to go home.” Ziva crossed her arms and stared at her mother.
“This is home now Ziva.” Her mother answered calmly. “This is our new home.”
“I want to go home to Papa.” She insisted, her nine year old lower jaw quivering. “I want to go home right now.”
“We are not going back there Ziva. I do not want that life for you and Tali.”
“What about me? What about the life that I want?” She fired back.
Her mother shook her head. “You are nine years old. You are not old enough to choose your life.”
“I choose Papa. And Ari. And Mossad. You cannot stop me.” She said, storming from the room.
Once she got to her bedroom she started throwing the few clothes that weren’t skirts into her school bag. Part way into packing she heard someone crying and looked up to see Tali standing in the doorway. Sighing, she stopped packing and patted her bed. With a sob , Tali ran into the room and onto the bed. When Ziva sat down beside her, Tali wrapped her arms around her sister’s waist.
“Don’t leave me.” The seven year old wept into Ziva’s lap.
“You can come with me.” Ziva offered. “We can go home, live with Papa and Ari.”
Tali shook her head. “Want to stay here with Mama. You stay too.”
Ziva sighed and held onto her younger sister, the desire to run away leaving her for the moment. While she loved her father and brother, the love that she felt for her younger sister was still stronger.
***
“I hate you.” Ziva screamed as she slammed the door in Tali’s face.
Tali opened the door, invading her space. “No you don’t. If you did you would have locked your door.”
Ziva threw her knife at the doorframe, inches from Tali’s face. “You know Papa took the lock off my door.”
“Because he found you with a boy.”
Ziva rolled her eyes at her sister. “We were listening to music.”
“You are sixteen Ziva. You were alone with one of Ari’s college friends. Papa does not care what you do, just what it looks like you were doing.”
“Just because you hang all over Michael when Papa is not around does not mean I am a slut like you.” Ziva stared at her sister; proud of the way she could make tears spring into the fourteen year old’s eyes.
“Michael is not like the boys you hang out with Ziva. He’s different. He says he’s going to marry me when we’re old enough and we’ll run away and never worry about Mossad or the Kedon unit or any of it.”
“That is because Michael is a wuss. And I do not hang out with boys. I hang out with men.” Ziva grinned at her sister who was still wiping tears from her eyes. “Your Michael will never be a man.”
“They use you Ziva.” Tali whispered.
She shrugged. “Maybe I am the one using them. They teach me about the world. They teach me about other languages. They are helping to train me to be a control officer.”
“Come with me. When Michael and I leave, come with me.” Tali pleaded. “Don’t choose this life.”
“I chose it when I was six. I do not plan to change my mind.” Ziva said, crossing the room and pulling her knife from the wood. “I know what I am doing, little sister.”
“You will die young. And I will grow old alone, and my children will never know their aunt.” Tali said tearfully.
“You are still a child. When you grow up, you will understand.” Ziva said calmly. “And when you do, you will leave Michael and follow the family.”
Tali shook her head. “Never.”
***
Ziva hadn’t meant to sleep with Tali’s boyfriend after her funeral. But she couldn’t help it, and didn’t stop it. Her grief was silent, heavy, and Michael Rivkin offered to take that away for a moment. As they lay in his bed after, he turned to her and brushed a stray piece of hair from her face.
“I’m joining Mossad.”
“It is about time.” Ziva replied calmly.
“I told Tali I was going to join. And we fought. She said she’d never marry Mossad.”
Ziva closed her eyes and was silent. She couldn’t think about Tali’s position on Mossad. If she did she knew she wouldn’t be able to leave in the morning to begin her training.
“That’s why she was on the bus. I told her, and we fought, and she wouldn’t let me take her home.” Michael sighed. “And now she’s gone.”
“And you shall join Mossad. Avenge her death. Put the anger you feel to use.”
Michael nodded as she slid to the edge of the bed and began to pull her clothes on. She was thankful that he didn’t reach out to her or offer to let her spend the night.
“We’ll have to do this again sometime.” Michael said as her hand reached for her shoes.
She looked at him and nodded. “I am sure we will see each other in Mossad. And perhaps it will.”
***
After her first mission she went back to the apartment she shared with Ari and locked herself in her room. The mission had been a success. She had helped take out a Hamas terrorist cell, and she knew she should feel proud of what she did. She had looked a terrorist in the eyes and pulled the trigger.
Instead of proud she felt trapped. She didn’t regret what she had done, but she couldn’t help but feel that she had started down a path from which she could never escape from. Plot, plan, infiltrate, kill. That was the way she would live her life. She couldn’t help but feel that it was emptier then she had imagined when she was six.
She heard her bedroom door rattle, and knew the lock was being picked, but she didn’t have the energy to stop Ari from coming in. He entered, carrying a pizza box which he set down beside her. She braced herself for the pending lecture.
“After my first kill, I threw up.” Ari said softly as he gently rubbed her arm. “It gets easier Ziva.”
“It was not hard, Ari.” She looked up at him and shook her head. “I think that is the problem. I did not have to think about it, and I do not regret it.”
“That’s a good thing Ziva.”
She shrugged. “If you say so.”
***
Ari dropped a folder on her desk. “Dossiers. On all of these people.”
Ziva nodded and flipped the folder open. “Who are they?”
“NCIS. I will be interacting with them while I am in DC. I need to know everything you can find out.”
NCIS. Like Jenny. Ziva thought about speaking the words out loud and stopped herself. The Cairo mission was a touchy subject with Ari. Even though he never said it, she knew he was mad about her getting shot while saving an American.
Ziva nodded at Ari and opened the folder. Looking at the names and photos, she got to work. Leroy Jetho Gibbs, Special Agent. Anthony DiNozzo, Special Agent. Caitlin Todd, Special Agent. Timothy McGee, Special Agent. Abby Sciuto, Forensic Scientist.
She spent weeks going over their dossiers. Providing Ari with information became her only job. Even when he didn’t need information, she couldn’t keep herself from prying into their lives. She wasn’t sure what the attraction was; all she knew was that she couldn’t stop herself.
Ari had taken an interest in Caitlin Todd, and Ziva found that she was being forced to find more and more information on Caitlin. Three older brothers, an older sister. Every detail she found went straight to Ari. He became obsessed with everything Ziva could find, and she couldn’t help but ask him if he was falling in love with the attractive agent. Ari had denied it, but Ziva was sure his interest in Caitlin went beyond the mission.
Ziva wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but for every piece if intel she found for Ari about Caitlin, she found just as much on Anthony to satisfy her own growing curiosity. Perhaps Ari’s interest in Caitlin would make him lose interest in Mossad and defect to America. Maybe she could come with him. For a moment she wondered what it would be like to live in DC and have a chance at a real life.
Since Cairo, something in her had changed. The missions and the bloodshed felt unnecessary – like they were chasing an evil that they would never catch. She didn’t doubt that they were doing the right thing and chasing the right people, but it felt futile. The wishes of a six year old to work with her big brother were becoming overshadowed with assassination, bloodshed, and bullets that came too close for comfort. She didn’t know what life she would choose if she could go back and do it over, but she wasn’t sure this was that life.
***
His personality on paper was nothing like it was in person. As she crossed the floor, she watched him. His mannerisms and grin caught her eye. If she wasn’t mistaken, he was sitting at his desk in the middle of the day lost in a sexual fantasy. She knew from her research that he had a reputation, but she hadn’t expected this. He was more than what his dossier said he was. Reality sank in as she realized the biggest problem was that he believed her brother had killed Caitlin. This was not the way she had imagined meeting Anthony DiNozzo. She shook her head and demanded his attention, rattling him from his fantasy.
“...having phone sex?” She asked with a grin.
She wanted to skip the mission, stay in DC and never let him out of her sight. Unrealistic, but true. She had a job to do and there was no way to avoid it. It was what it was. And maybe, once she proved that her brother was innocent, she could get to know him in a way that was more intimate than words on paper.
