Jealousy & Secrets

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Title: Jealousy & Secrets
Author: Ragna (goddess_loki)
Written for: dragonessasmith
Archive: Sure, if you want to.
Pairings: Abby/Tony, some one-sided Abby/Gibbs
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,014
Summary: Gibbs' world crashes down around him because of something he sees.
Author's Notes: For ncis_ficathon. I used this prompt dragonessasmith gave me: Gibbs catches Abby and Tony kissing in the lab. He's not happy. I also used the Random Pairing Generator and got Anthony 'Tony' DiNozzo / Abby Sciuto / signs. Set in what will end up being season 4.

---

He could keep a lid on his jealousy for only so long. There were signs, obvious signs that things had changed at NCIS, and signs that the relationship between Abby and Tony had changed as well. Yes, Tony still flirted with Ziva, but there wasn't the same bite to it. And yes, Abby still accepted her turbo charged caffeine drink from anyone who gave it to her but her eyes lit up most when it was from Tony. And the few times he saw them working in the same room together...

He could spot the signs. After all, he'd been a sniper. Spotting signs was something snipers excelled at.

It didn't matter, though. He was back at NCIS. Things were different but strangely normal again, even if he could feel a type of electricity in the air that hadn't been there before. Life was moving on and, as much as he hadn't wanted it to, life had moved on in his absence. There was too much to do, too many things that needed attention and that kept him busy enough that the jealousy only gnawed on the edge of his conciousness for the most part.

And then came the day that everything came crashing around him.

---

He had stopped sweeping into Abby's labs without warning almost since he came back, mostly because she wasn't used to it anymore but also because things between them had changed. She still cared about him; that much had been obvious by the huge hug she'd given him when he came back to NCIS. But it just wasn't the same. And now he found himself not entering cautiously but doing it slowly and giving her time to know he was there.

Today was different, though. Jenny was breathing down his neck and Tony was nowhere to be found and there were results that needed to be received now. He stormed down to the lab and saw it as plain as day.

Tony had an arm around the small of Abby's back and he was bending down to kiss her. Her cheeks were flushed and she seemed happier than she had in so long.

No, Gibbs realized. Happier than she'd been the last time he spent any real time with her. He looked around, not wanting to watch, wanting to fight down the urge to barge in there and tell them he didn't want to share her, Especially with Tony. Oh, there were plenty of things he wanted to say, all along those lines, but he didn't. He couldn't.

He kept remembering the glimpse of Abby's face and how happy she'd seemed. He would have given it more thought but he heard Tony say he needed to get back upstairs.

He crept into the shadows of the corridor as Tony finally left her labs, and after giving Abby a minute to make herself look presentable, knocked on the door. "Results?" he asked.

"Here you go, Gibbs!" she said, beaming at him. She looked perfect, just like always. No one would have guessed a minute or so ago...

He returned a weak grin and took the results upstairs. With an undeniable certainty, he knew tonight he was going to be drowning his sorrows in alcohol, thinking back on how stupid he had been, how many chances he had missed, how he could have maybe have been happy with her and now he couldn't.

---

He didn't remember how long he'd been sitting at the bar drinking. All he knew was that at some point someone tapped him on the shoulder and he looked over to see Ziva sitting next to him. "Keeping me company?" he asked, his voice only slightly slurred.

She nodded. "Jenny said she'd seen that look on your face before and you normally headed to a bar. I want to make sure you get home safely."

"Isn't it nice to feel loved," he said, a bit of sarcasm dripping into his voice.

Ziva looked away. "I take it you've seen Tony and Abby, too," she said quietly. Even through the beginnings of a drunken fog, he could hear the little bit of pain in her face. Whatever else, she must have cared more for Tony than she'd ever let on.

He nodded slowly. "At the labs. Today."

"Outside work a few weeks ago." She reached over for the peanuts that were on the top of the bar. "I haven't said anything because they both saw me and begged me not to. I think Tony would be much happier if you'd take charge again so he wouldn't have to hide."

"And why would I want to help him?"

"Because you want Abby to be happy," she said simply. There wasn't anything else to add, and there was no need to make it a question.

He looked at his drink and then picked it up, finishing it quickly. "Maybe I do need help getting home safe. Just don't drive too fast."

Ziva smiled slightly. "I've been practicing, Gibbs."

"I'm sure you have. I still don't want you to drive too fast."

---

After that night, jealous as he was, he knew he wasn't alone. All he had to do was glance over at Ziva, give or receive a nod, and know that they were keeping a secret to keep two people they cared about happy. In the end, it wasn't a horrible secret. It wasn't a secret that would hurt anyone. But it was a secret nonetheless.

There were still moments when jealousy reared it's rather ugly head and he wanted to say something, but then he'd remember that they didn't know he'd seen them, that he knew, and instead he'd keep it in. He'd push the ugly emotion into whatever he was doing and hope that work would fill up the cold ache in his gut. Sometimes it did, sometimes it didn't.

But it didn't matter. Like Ziva had said, they were happy. And their secret would be kept as long as it needed to be because Gibbs, at least, knew he wasn't capable of breaking Abby's heart.