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ncisficathonTitle: Through Shadows to the Morning
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wiccagirl24
Written for:imaginary_iby
Archive: Here, my LJ archive, any others please ask/give credit
Rating: A mild PG-13 (to be on the safe side. Mild language)
Warnings/Spoilers: Takes place shortly after the events of Kill Ari. Also contains spoilers for Hiatus
Genre: on the border of Gen and Het
Pairings: Abby/Gibbs, Abby/Ducky friendship
Word Count: Just about 5,400
Disclaimer: Any suggestion for how I might acquire the rights to NCIS would be appreciated.Any help in stalking/kidnapping Mark, David or Pauley doubly appreciated. Until then I do not own NCIS or the other TV show mentioned.
Prompt: One of Gibbs' old wives comes to town and she and Abby don't get along - a little backstory as to why.
Summary: “You can only come to the morning through the shadows.” JRR Tolkien
Author's Note: When I got this assignment I literally jumped out of my chair. Writing Gibbs/Abby for Iby? I couldn't have been happier if I had picked my own assignment. I hope she is pleased with what I came up with, and will forgive me the fact that for a story that was supposed to be about Abby meeting an ex-wife, said ex only has three lines of dialogue.
A massive thanks tobecky_monster who not only beta'd, but got me unstuck more than once, kept me honest, and cracked the whip when I needed it.
Abby's never been one to question her impulses. So when she found herself standing in front of Gibbs’ front door on a Saturday morning she didn’t hesitate to knock. She did, however, have to do some careful maneuvering. There were two coffee cups perched on top of the pink pastry box pressed between her hand and hip and she did not want to spill any of the scalding beverages on herself. The donut shop was just opening when she drove past it on her way home from the club. With a dozen Red Bulls coursing through her veins she was far from tired, and having decided that frosting and sprinkles would make a good breakfast she wasn’t in the mood to eat alone.
“Good morning,” she said cheerfully when the door opened to reveal a slightly perplexed Gibbs. She kissed him on the cheek as she bounced past him into the house.
“It’s a little early, Abbs.”
“I know, but your dressed already, and given how quickly you answered the door you weren’t asleep, so all is good.” With a grin on her face she offered him one of the coffee cups. Her own had a smiley face drawn on the lid so that she didn’t mix them up. She knew Gibbs wouldn’t appreciate ten packets of sugar sullying his caffeine.
“You didn’t go to bed last night,” Gibbs observed. Abby didn’t bother to deny it; he knew her too well. She rarely woke up this early on a Saturday, and never hummed with energy until an hour had been spent waking slowly. This was not the first time she had shown up at his house after an allnighter.
“There’s a really sweet new club over on Delaware. The band was crack and the bartender was cute.” She had needed to let out some steam after a long week. The work wasn’t hard but the tension caused by a new boss and the presence of the Israeli officer coupled with the grief that from time to time snuck up on her still made the days seem twice as hard.
“You went alone?” He frowned as he followed her into the kitchen. Abby laid the pastry box on the counter and opened it, selecting a donut covered in white frosting and decorated with red and orange sprinkles. She took a bite before answering.
“Who did you expect me to take? McGee? Or maybe Ziva?” There was a harsh edge to her pronunciation of the woman’s name. Once she would have invited Kate, but there was no one else from work she would feel comfortable with. Except Tony, of course. When she had asked he had spoken of a date. He was lying, but she let him. They all had their own ways of coping
“Abby, you know...”
“I know you’re not much for anything beyond the basic amenities, but you have to get some new towels. Yours are not much better then rags.” There was a woman standing in the doorway, drying red hair with what Abby had to agree wasn’t much better then a rag. She was wearing jeans and a deep blue sweater but her feet were bare. “Opps, sorry Jethro. I didn’t know you had company.”
“Donut?” Abby offered, gesturing at the box. “And I should be the one apologizing. I have a bad habit of showing up places uninvited.”
“You’re one of Jethro’s coworkers, aren’t you? It’s been a few years, but you seem familiar.”
“Yup. I’m Abby.” It was not the first time they had met, but if Stacy wanted to pretend that it was she’d play along. She smiled, turning away from Gibbs so he couldn’t read anything in her eyes.
“Nice to meet you Abby. I’m Stacy, Gibbs’ ex-wife. Well, one of them, I should say.”
“You really should try one of the donuts, Stacy. They only came out of the oven an hour ago.” Abby grabbed the keys she had tossed on the counter. “I’m going to go.”
“You don’t have to, Abbs.” Gibbs spoke for the first time since Stacy entered the room. He had been caught up in watching his past and present collide until Abby mentioned leaving.
“I’m suddenly realizing how long ago yesterday morning was. I need to go home and crash.” It was a lie, she wouldn’t be able to sleep for hours. There was no way she was hanging around Gibbs and his ex. It was too weird. She wouldn’t admit to herself that it was also a little painful. Before he could protest she gave Gibbs another quick peck on the cheek and escaped through the front door.
Gibbs rubbed his temple and barely kept from swearing. There was a reason he didn’t like surprise guests, let alone two in the same weekend. Not that Abby was usually an unwelcome guest. Any other Saturday he would love to drink coffee and eat donuts and take part in a conversation he only half understood. He probably would have ended up taking her out for lunch and wouldn’t notice until night that he hadn’t spent any time working on his boat. In fact the more he thought about it the better it sounded. Much better than listening to Stacy complain aboutFornell’s mother, who hadn’t let her into the house to visit Emily since it wasn’t her weekend, or any of his ex’s other complaints.
“Eat as many donuts as you want but don’t drink the coffee,” Gibbs ordered as he walked out of the room. He headed straight for the front door and walked to the end of the sidewalk without stopping. He was too late. There was no sign of the long black hearse that Abby insisted on driving or the cherry red moped she sometimes used when she wasn’t going very far. Damn.
II
Once again Abby stood in front of a coworkers door, this time sans donuts and coffee. She rubbed her eyes before she knocked on the door and smothered a yawn. She could really use a fresh infusion of caffeine right about now.
“Abigail, what a pleasure. Please come in.” Ducky, dressed more casually than usual, in slacks and a burgundy sweater, stepped out of the doorway to allow Abby entry.
“Sorry it’s so early, Ducky, but I wasn’t sure where to go. I didn’t really want to go home, and when I saw the freeway sign that would bring me here I just...”
“Nonsense, my dear. You know you are always welcome here. Now come on through to the kitchen. I was just about to make a pot of tea and you look like you could use a cuppa.” As if on cue the kettle started whistling as Ducky led her into the kitchen. Abby settled on one of the stools that lined the counter and watched as he went through the familiar ritual that would eventually produce two perfect cups of tea. She never was much of a tea drinker before meeting Ducky, but now found the drink both soothing and reviving.
“I went over to Gibbs’ this morning.” Abby waited until they were in the dinning room, a plate of fresh muffins between them, before she confessed her reason for visiting. Ducky, she knew, would not broach the subject until she did. “I thought I could tempt him away from his boat with an offer of donuts and coffee.”
“I don’t know about the donuts, but the coffee should have worked.”
“It might have, but he wasn’t alone. Stacy was there.”
“Stacy?” Ducky raised a single eyebrow. “Oh dear. I can’t imagine what would persuade Jethro to let her into his house, not after the last time.”
“I dunno, and I didn’t stick around long enough to find out. She’s not exactly on my list of people to spend my day off with.”
“Nor mine. She never did seem a match for him, or Fornell for that matter. Speaking of Stacy, did you ever tell Jethro about...”
“No.” Abby slammed her teacup against the table harder than she intended. Fortunately it did not break, but the warm tea sloshed over the edge and soaked the hem of her shirt. “He didn’t need to know.”
“Somehow I think he would disagree.” Reaching across the table, Ducky gently patted Abby’s hand.
“It doesn’t matter what he would think, because he’s never going to hear about it. She’d certainly not going to tell him, and no one else will either.” Abby said pointedly. Ducky was the only person who knew about the conversation she and Stacy had had, all those years ago. She hadn’t meant to confide in anyone, but he had come up to the lab and had narrowly missed being hit by a beaker she had angrily hurdled across the room.
“My lips are sealed,” Ducky said with a slight frown. He watched as Abby picked at her muffin, covering her plate with a fine layer of crumbs but not eating anything. Suddenly he remembered the package he had received in the mail only a few days ago. It was just the thing to take Abby’s mind off of Gibbs and his ex -wife.
“I don’t know if you had any plans for the rest of the day, but if you don’t I would love your company. I was planning on spending the day being completely frivolous. Would you care to join me in a television show marathon?” Deciding that the dishes could wait until later, Ducky offered a hand to Abby and helped her from her chair.
“A marathon, huh? What’s playing?” She strongly suspected he had made up the idea on the fly just to please her, but it sounded perfect. Ducky was one of the few people she could relax completely around, and she needed that right now. And if she was really lucky she could talk Ducky into making a batch of his homemade double chocolate cookies.
“Doctor Who. I found some of my old favorites have been released on DVD, and I thought I would see what the new show was like so I also have the season starring ChristopherEccleston.”
“You really are the most perfect man.” Pushing all thoughts of red haired women out of her mind, Abby hugged Ducky tightly. It was times like this that she thought how much easier it would be if she had fallen in love with a sweet tempered medical examiner instead of a surly ex Marine with too many rules and too many ex-wives.
II
It was late when she finally arrived home. She and Ducky had watched The Doctor battle Cybermen, Daleks, The Master, and a host of other villains. Ducky proclaimed Sylvester McCoy to be his favorite still. She had teased him that he was biased, given that they shared a homeland, and insisted that he had to buy some DavidTennant DVDs. He was Scottish too, after all. Given the intense way he had watched Parting of Ways she thought he might be convinced. They might just have to arrange another marathon in a couple of weeks.
She was glad that she had all of Sunday to sleep. The hour long nap on Ducky’s couch did not make up for the missed night of sleep. Thinking of a warm shower before bed, it took a moment after getting out of her car to realized that the porch light was burned out again. Stupid thing. This time instead of simply replacing the bulb she was going to look at the wiring. Fortunately the moon was almost full and she could see the path to the front door quite easily. Despite the rumors that floated around work she was not a vampire and could not see in the dark.
“You left your cell phone at Ducky’s.” Startled, Abby had her purse raised over her had and was ready to strike before she realized who had spoken.
“Damn it Gibbs, you scared me !” In the dim light she could just make out where he leaned against the wall, his arms crossed and a slight frown marring his face. “Halloween’s not for a couple of weeks yet.”
“If you had decent lighting...”
“My lighting is fine...” Squinting to make the key fit in the lock she paused. “When it works, that is. I’ll deal with it tomorrow.”
“You’d be bettor off looking at new apartments.” Before following Abby into the apartment Gibbs took one last glance around the neighborhood. It was about as far from his quiet tree lined street as it was possible to get. He’d grumbled about it the first time he had dropped Abby off at home years ago, and his opinion hadn’t changed.
“Don’t be such a fuddy duddy Gibbs. Just because there aren’t any white picket fences doesn’t make this a bad place. Charlie next door is a bouncer, and he’d come running if I needed help ever. And Butch downstairs always offers to carry my groceries for me.” She was glad that Gibbs saw past her tattoos and loud music, but sometimes he forgot that they were a part of her. She fit in here, among these people.
“And if I ran the names of everyone how many warrants would I come up with?”
“Nineteen, but eight of those are for Gina Marie. Soliciting charges, each one under a different name. Three are Bennie’s, but he has cancer and the pot makes him hurt less. None of the others are for anything serious.” Tossing her purse on the table she sat at one of the kitchen chairs and stooped forward to unlace her boots.
“Abbs...”
“Gibbs, I know you didn’t drive out here to hassle me about my neighbors, and I’m guessing that if we had a case you would have mentioned it by now. Why are you here?” Her shoes off, Abby stretched out her feet and wiggled her toes, taking a moment to admire the new nail polish color she had put on the previous day.
“You didn’t answer your phone.” Without asking Gibbs opened the fridge and took out two bottles of beer. Using the edge of the counter to pop off the lids he set one on the table next to Abby and took a pull of his own.
“Since you know Ducky has my cell, I’m sure he told you why I didn’t answer.” Picking up the beer in one hand she stared at the label. “Shouldn’t you be at home with your company?”
“My company left this morning, not long after you did. I’m not dumb enough to leave her alone in my house; I might come home to a lack of furniture. Again. I wouldn’t have even let her sleep there if it wasn’t so late when she showed up last night.”
“You don’t have to explain, Gibbs. It’s none of my business.” A pretend yawn meant to give Gibbs a hint about the late hour turned into a really one. Gibbs, however, seemed to be as immune to catching yawns as he was everything else. Instead of moving to leave he sat down on the chair opposite her.
“You left my house pretty quick this morning Abbs. Didn’t even remember to take your coffee with you. If you can call it coffee with all that sugar in it.”
“Tastes more like a Caf-Pow! that way. And I explained that this morning. I was tired.”
“If you were just tired you would have gone home instead of driving out to Reston to see Ducky.” His hands rested lightly on the table, and Abby had the uncomfortable feeling of being in the interrogation room at work.
“It’s late Gibbs. if you have a point can you get to it already?”
“You were friends with Diane. Good enough friends, in fact, that she talked to you after we divorced. Since she wouldn’t even talk to Ducky...’
“Is it a crime, Special Agent Gibbs, to be friends with your ex?” She tried to smile, to tease, but it was late and he was uncomfortably close to figuring things out.
“It would be if Tony tried it.” Gibbs folded his fingers together and leaned forward. “I think it’s interesting that you’d be friends with one of my exes and literally run away from one you had never met.”
“We’vemetbefore,” Abby muttered.
“What?” Gibbs asked, no surprise evident in his voice.
“Stacy and I have met before, okay? I didn’t really want to repeat the experience.” Restless, Abby got out of the chair and paced the kitchen, carrying the beer bottle with her.
“Stacy and I were already divorced when you started at NCIS.”
“Don’t worry about it, Gibbs. I was just tired this morning and I over reacted. I’m sure if I stayed we would have had a perfectly civil breakfast together with nice , polite discussion abut the weather. Colder than usual for this time of the year, isn’t it?”
“You don’t over react when it comes to people. If anything you give them too many second chances.”
“People can change, Gibbs. You have to give them a chance.” If she hoped to distract him she failed miserably.
“When did you meet Stacy, and when the hell did she say to you?”
“It’s late, and I really need to...”
“What did she say, Abby?” he was standing now, his finger tips still resting on the table, his mouth pressed into a thin line, his eyes narrowed. She knew this look. It was pointless to evade any longer.
“It was about five years ago She came looking for you, but you were still in Paris, wrapping up that case. When Stacy couldn’t find you she did some investigating of her own, trying to find out what you were up to. She wanted you back. You should have seen her smile when I told her you were divorced again. Cat and cream. She didn’t want to be a mom to poor Emily but she obviously didn’t want to be alone either. I told her I’d let you know she had visited and she left.” Her beer bottle was still half full, but Abby gulped it all down.
“That wasn’t all she said.” He knew Stacy, knew how vindictive she could get. Even violent, as the thin scar hidden by his hair attested. He also knew that Abby didn’t rattle easily. The only times he could recall seeing her upset was when she’d told him about her autopsy dream a few days before Ari showed up and the day Kate died.
“That was the just of it. It was five years ago, do you really expect word for word details?”
“I expect the truth.”
“It was stupid. Just a stupid argument. I hated the way she was talking about you though. Like you’d come back to DC and just fall at her feet, like all she had to do was smile and show a little cleavage and you’d take her back. I told her you’d never fall for her act. She said I was a silly girl in love with my boss, and too blind to see anything else. Told me to grow up and get used to the idea that I could never have what I wanted, and that she would be the forth Mrs. Gibbs. I didn’t think she’d wait this long to try, though. For a month after you came back from Paris I kept expecting to see her every time I came up to the bull pen." That should be enough to satisfy him. She had glossed over a few things, left out some of the cruder insults that had been hurled. Not that she had been blameless in that regard, but for the most part she had been too stunned to say much.
"Was she right?" Gibbs stood silently for a full minute watching her intently before he spoke. Abby's beer bottle fell from her grasp, somehow managing to hit the floor without shattering. It rolled under the refrigerator.
"Obviously she wasn't right Gibbs. Do you remember marrying the same woman twice? I know you spend most of your time at home in the basement, but I hope you would have noticed another person sleeping in your bed."
"That wasn't what I meant and you know it."
"If you mean her accusing me of being in love with my boss then no, she wasn't right." Abby took a deep breath, using the fraction of a second to make a decision that might change everything. No, one way or another it would change everything. "I wasn't in love with you then. It happened much more gradually than that."
Abby steeled herself for Gibbs' response, expecting anything from a slap at the back of her head to a proclamation of undying love. Not that Gibbs would start spouting poetry or get down on his knees and propose, but he might give her one of those smiles that grew slowly across his face and made his eyes twinkle and ask her to spend the following day working on his boat. She waited, not daring to breath, for a full minute.
"Oh."
"Oh?" His expression hadn't even changed. She told him he held her heart (metaphorically, because the literal interpretation was just ewww) and his response wasn't even a word. A single syllable uttered in a normal tone. If she stayed under his cool gaze for another moment she just might scream. As quickly as if she was on the spinning chair in her lab she turned and fled the room, heading for the sanctuary of her bedroom. She locked the door, something she never did, and flung herself onto the black satin comforter that covered her bed.
What was she going to do? She couldn’t continue working at NCIS, not now that he knew how she felt. It had been almost perfect, the lighthearted teasing, the jokes about underwear, friendly kisses on the cheek and the energy that sparkled between them. Why had she gone and ruined it? Now his comments and touches would be guarded and the special friendship that they had shared was ruined.
She’d have to look for a job elsewhere, that was all there was to it. The FBI had approached her more than once, and on a more informal noteFornell had commented that if she ever wanted a less demanding boss he had a spare lab coat. She’d never taken him seriously, but he wouldn’t be a bad guy to work for. Agent Sacks reminded her of Tony a bit and the ME over in the Hoover building was a friend of Ducky’s. They’d met for lunch half a dozen times. She might have to tame down her wardrobe in the beginning but she could do it. At least she’d be able to stay in the city.
“Abby.” A series of three sharp raps sounded against the wood door, accompanied by Gibbs’ slightly muffled voice. Abby bit her lip to keep from answering.
“Abbs, open the door, we need to talk.”
Rolling over on to her back, Abby stared at the ceiling. There was a dark smudge in one spot where she had thrown a boot once, trying to silence the upstairs neighbor, and in the far corner a spider was constructing a web.
“I’m not going away. You can open the door or I will.”
Deciding that he wouldn’t actually break down the door, or if he did he would fix it, Abby did not move. She tried to avoid thinking about the man on the other side of the door by instead planning out how to approachFornell about a career change. She couldn’t wait until he came to the NCIS building, she’d have to go to him. Maybe if she...
“See anything interesting?” The mattress moved under her, readjusting to additional weight as Gibbs laid down on the bed next to her.
“Gibbs, how did you...” Lifting her head Abby was able to see the bedroom door, now open. “That’s not fair. It was locked.”
“And I unlocked it. A talent of mine.” Clasping his fingers together Gibbs rested them behind his head and looked up at the ceiling in a mirror of Abby’s pose.
“An illegal one.” It was a skill one of his snitches had taught him, and he had taught her. It had come in handy more than once, but she didn’t appreciate it tonight. “I’m tired Gibbs. I want to go to bed.”
“I’ve been married four times.” He didn’t turn to acknowledge her, but continued to stare at the ceiling.
“What? I thought you had three ex-wives.” Something told her that he wasn’t miscounting. Rolling on her side to better see him, Abby pulled her knees up into a fetal position.
“I met Shannon when I was twenty-two, when I came home for leave to visit my mother. It took me half of my leave to get her to say yes to a date, and I’ve never been more nervous in my life than I was that night. She was beautiful, with bright red hair and a temper to match. She wrote to me when I left, and I called her when I could. We waited two years before getting married. She was killed a few months before our tenth anniversary. She and Kelly, our daughter.”
“Oh Gibbs.” Forgetting the pain in her own heart she reached out and touched his cheek with her fingers. She left her hand on his warm skin, feeling the vibrations as he continued to speak.
“I’m glad you didn’t know me then. People like to call me a bastard now, and the title is well earned, but it’s nothing compared to who I was in the years after Shan and Kelly were murdered.”
“And then you met Annie,” Abby whispered. Annie was the only one of Gibbs’ exes that she had never met, and she didn’t know anything about her except name and hair color. She had always wondered if Annie had been the one to break Gibbs’ heart and make him guard it so harshly. Evidently she had been wrong.
“Then I met Annie.” Gibbs glanced at her briefly out of the corner of his eyes. “She was a witness on a case. One night after we had been dating a while I came home from work and she was waiting for me, and I thought that the house wasn’t quite so empty when someone else was there. We were married for almost two years before she decided that she didn’t want to come in second to my job anymore. Last I heard she was remarried to man who owns a string of pizza parlors and probably comes home at five o’clock every day.”
The idea of Gibbs running a pizza parlor was almost enough to make her smile. “You weren’t meant for that kind of job. Anyone who really knew you would understand that.” She understood. It was a trait they shared, though she was better at putting the work away and relaxing when she could. She might be able to teach him to relax, but it would take some doing. Five or ten years at least.
“Diane told me once that I was married to my job and she felt like my mistress. Stacy was more blunt than that; she said I was an emotionless bastard who didn’t know what love was.”
“Oh.” Abby pulled her hand away from where it had still been resting on Gibbs’ cheek. Caught up in learning about the past Gibbs so rarely shared she had almost forgotten how they came to be here in the first place. Now it sunk in what he was really saying. He didn’t love her. No more than he had loved the other women who had temporarily filled his life.
Frowning at the loss of contact Gibbs rolled onto his side. With a hand wrapped around her waist he tugged Abby towards him until they were touching, her knees against his thigh and her forehead pressed to his shoulder.
“At the time I thought she might be right. It was more relief than pain when the divorce papers came. It wasn’t until I started working with Ducky that I began to see the members of my team as anything other than coworkers. He was the first person I could genuinely call a friend since Shannon died.”
“It’s impossible not to be friends with Ducky. He’s something special.” She would miss Ducky. There would still be visits to his home and the occasional lunch dates, but it would be hard not to see him every day. He would be the hardest one to tell that she was quitting, after Gibbs of course.
“When Ari had Ducky I was worried and angry. When he killed Kate I was sad and angry." He paused then, and Abby wondered if he was remembering that night in the rain, like she was. She pulled tighter into him, counting the beats of his heart until he spoke again. "But when he took potshots at your window... God Abby I’ve never been more terrified in my life. If anything had happened to you...”
“Nothing did. I had you and Tony protecting me.” She didn’t like to think of that night, not ever.
“And if things had been different, just one detail changed... I don’t think I could have buried a woman I loved a second time.”
“Ari’s gone, and you don’t ever have to...” Abby froze, her eyes wide as she realized what he had said. “Gibbs?”
“You have a question Abbs?” When she dared to look him in the eyes he was smiling at her, a teasing half smile that rarely used while at work. His blue eyes were twinkling at Abby was glad she was lying down. She was feeling a little faint.”
“No. No question.” She leaned into him, breathing deeply to take in the scent of Ivory soap, musk and sawdust.
“Abbs?” Two fingers under her chin applied light pressure and she was looking back up at him. “You matter more than the job.”
He wrapped both arms around her then, holding her tight against him. Contented, Abby smiled. Just before she drifted off to sleep she felt a gentle kiss pressed against her cheek. In the morning when they woke up she'd have to teach Gibbs that there were places other then her cheek and forehead that she expected to be kissed. She couldn't wait until morning.
Author:
wiccagirl24Written for:
imaginary_ibyArchive: Here, my LJ archive, any others please ask/give credit
Rating: A mild PG-13 (to be on the safe side. Mild language)
Warnings/Spoilers: Takes place shortly after the events of Kill Ari. Also contains spoilers for Hiatus
Genre: on the border of Gen and Het
Pairings: Abby/Gibbs, Abby/Ducky friendship
Word Count: Just about 5,400
Disclaimer: Any suggestion for how I might acquire the rights to NCIS would be appreciated.
Prompt: One of Gibbs' old wives comes to town and she and Abby don't get along - a little backstory as to why.
Summary: “You can only come to the morning through the shadows.” JRR Tolkien
Author's Note: When I got this assignment I literally jumped out of my chair. Writing Gibbs/Abby for Iby? I couldn't have been happier if I had picked my own assignment. I hope she is pleased with what I came up with, and will forgive me the fact that for a story that was supposed to be about Abby meeting an ex-wife, said ex only has three lines of dialogue.
A massive thanks to
becky_monster who not only beta'd, but got me unstuck more than once, kept me honest, and cracked the whip when I needed it.Abby's never been one to question her impulses. So when she found herself standing in front of Gibbs’ front door on a Saturday morning she didn’t hesitate to knock. She did, however, have to do some careful maneuvering. There were two coffee cups perched on top of the pink pastry box pressed between her hand and hip and she did not want to spill any of the scalding beverages on herself. The donut shop was just opening when she drove past it on her way home from the club. With a dozen Red Bulls coursing through her veins she was far from tired, and having decided that frosting and sprinkles would make a good breakfast she wasn’t in the mood to eat alone.
“Good morning,” she said cheerfully when the door opened to reveal a slightly perplexed Gibbs. She kissed him on the cheek as she bounced past him into the house.
“It’s a little early, Abbs.”
“I know, but your dressed already, and given how quickly you answered the door you weren’t asleep, so all is good.” With a grin on her face she offered him one of the coffee cups. Her own had a smiley face drawn on the lid so that she didn’t mix them up. She knew Gibbs wouldn’t appreciate ten packets of sugar sullying his caffeine.
“You didn’t go to bed last night,” Gibbs observed. Abby didn’t bother to deny it; he knew her too well. She rarely woke up this early on a Saturday, and never hummed with energy until an hour had been spent waking slowly. This was not the first time she had shown up at his house after an allnighter.
“There’s a really sweet new club over on Delaware. The band was crack and the bartender was cute.” She had needed to let out some steam after a long week. The work wasn’t hard but the tension caused by a new boss and the presence of the Israeli officer coupled with the grief that from time to time snuck up on her still made the days seem twice as hard.
“You went alone?” He frowned as he followed her into the kitchen. Abby laid the pastry box on the counter and opened it, selecting a donut covered in white frosting and decorated with red and orange sprinkles. She took a bite before answering.
“Who did you expect me to take? McGee? Or maybe Ziva?” There was a harsh edge to her pronunciation of the woman’s name. Once she would have invited Kate, but there was no one else from work she would feel comfortable with. Except Tony, of course. When she had asked he had spoken of a date. He was lying, but she let him. They all had their own ways of coping
“Abby, you know...”
“I know you’re not much for anything beyond the basic amenities, but you have to get some new towels. Yours are not much better then rags.” There was a woman standing in the doorway, drying red hair with what Abby had to agree wasn’t much better then a rag. She was wearing jeans and a deep blue sweater but her feet were bare. “Opps, sorry Jethro. I didn’t know you had company.”
“Donut?” Abby offered, gesturing at the box. “And I should be the one apologizing. I have a bad habit of showing up places uninvited.”
“You’re one of Jethro’s coworkers, aren’t you? It’s been a few years, but you seem familiar.”
“Yup. I’m Abby.” It was not the first time they had met, but if Stacy wanted to pretend that it was she’d play along. She smiled, turning away from Gibbs so he couldn’t read anything in her eyes.
“Nice to meet you Abby. I’m Stacy, Gibbs’ ex-wife. Well, one of them, I should say.”
“You really should try one of the donuts, Stacy. They only came out of the oven an hour ago.” Abby grabbed the keys she had tossed on the counter. “I’m going to go.”
“You don’t have to, Abbs.” Gibbs spoke for the first time since Stacy entered the room. He had been caught up in watching his past and present collide until Abby mentioned leaving.
“I’m suddenly realizing how long ago yesterday morning was. I need to go home and crash.” It was a lie, she wouldn’t be able to sleep for hours. There was no way she was hanging around Gibbs and his ex. It was too weird. She wouldn’t admit to herself that it was also a little painful. Before he could protest she gave Gibbs another quick peck on the cheek and escaped through the front door.
Gibbs rubbed his temple and barely kept from swearing. There was a reason he didn’t like surprise guests, let alone two in the same weekend. Not that Abby was usually an unwelcome guest. Any other Saturday he would love to drink coffee and eat donuts and take part in a conversation he only half understood. He probably would have ended up taking her out for lunch and wouldn’t notice until night that he hadn’t spent any time working on his boat. In fact the more he thought about it the better it sounded. Much better than listening to Stacy complain aboutFornell’s mother, who hadn’t let her into the house to visit Emily since it wasn’t her weekend, or any of his ex’s other complaints.
“Eat as many donuts as you want but don’t drink the coffee,” Gibbs ordered as he walked out of the room. He headed straight for the front door and walked to the end of the sidewalk without stopping. He was too late. There was no sign of the long black hearse that Abby insisted on driving or the cherry red moped she sometimes used when she wasn’t going very far. Damn.
II
Once again Abby stood in front of a coworkers door, this time sans donuts and coffee. She rubbed her eyes before she knocked on the door and smothered a yawn. She could really use a fresh infusion of caffeine right about now.
“Abigail, what a pleasure. Please come in.” Ducky, dressed more casually than usual, in slacks and a burgundy sweater, stepped out of the doorway to allow Abby entry.
“Sorry it’s so early, Ducky, but I wasn’t sure where to go. I didn’t really want to go home, and when I saw the freeway sign that would bring me here I just...”
“Nonsense, my dear. You know you are always welcome here. Now come on through to the kitchen. I was just about to make a pot of tea and you look like you could use a cuppa.” As if on cue the kettle started whistling as Ducky led her into the kitchen. Abby settled on one of the stools that lined the counter and watched as he went through the familiar ritual that would eventually produce two perfect cups of tea. She never was much of a tea drinker before meeting Ducky, but now found the drink both soothing and reviving.
“I went over to Gibbs’ this morning.” Abby waited until they were in the dinning room, a plate of fresh muffins between them, before she confessed her reason for visiting. Ducky, she knew, would not broach the subject until she did. “I thought I could tempt him away from his boat with an offer of donuts and coffee.”
“I don’t know about the donuts, but the coffee should have worked.”
“It might have, but he wasn’t alone. Stacy was there.”
“Stacy?” Ducky raised a single eyebrow. “Oh dear. I can’t imagine what would persuade Jethro to let her into his house, not after the last time.”
“I dunno, and I didn’t stick around long enough to find out. She’s not exactly on my list of people to spend my day off with.”
“Nor mine. She never did seem a match for him, or Fornell for that matter. Speaking of Stacy, did you ever tell Jethro about...”
“No.” Abby slammed her teacup against the table harder than she intended. Fortunately it did not break, but the warm tea sloshed over the edge and soaked the hem of her shirt. “He didn’t need to know.”
“Somehow I think he would disagree.” Reaching across the table, Ducky gently patted Abby’s hand.
“It doesn’t matter what he would think, because he’s never going to hear about it. She’d certainly not going to tell him, and no one else will either.” Abby said pointedly. Ducky was the only person who knew about the conversation she and Stacy had had, all those years ago. She hadn’t meant to confide in anyone, but he had come up to the lab and had narrowly missed being hit by a beaker she had angrily hurdled across the room.
“My lips are sealed,” Ducky said with a slight frown. He watched as Abby picked at her muffin, covering her plate with a fine layer of crumbs but not eating anything. Suddenly he remembered the package he had received in the mail only a few days ago. It was just the thing to take Abby’s mind off of Gibbs and his ex -wife.
“I don’t know if you had any plans for the rest of the day, but if you don’t I would love your company. I was planning on spending the day being completely frivolous. Would you care to join me in a television show marathon?” Deciding that the dishes could wait until later, Ducky offered a hand to Abby and helped her from her chair.
“A marathon, huh? What’s playing?” She strongly suspected he had made up the idea on the fly just to please her, but it sounded perfect. Ducky was one of the few people she could relax completely around, and she needed that right now. And if she was really lucky she could talk Ducky into making a batch of his homemade double chocolate cookies.
“Doctor Who. I found some of my old favorites have been released on DVD, and I thought I would see what the new show was like so I also have the season starring ChristopherEccleston.”
“You really are the most perfect man.” Pushing all thoughts of red haired women out of her mind, Abby hugged Ducky tightly. It was times like this that she thought how much easier it would be if she had fallen in love with a sweet tempered medical examiner instead of a surly ex Marine with too many rules and too many ex-wives.
II
It was late when she finally arrived home. She and Ducky had watched The Doctor battle Cybermen, Daleks, The Master, and a host of other villains. Ducky proclaimed Sylvester McCoy to be his favorite still. She had teased him that he was biased, given that they shared a homeland, and insisted that he had to buy some DavidTennant DVDs. He was Scottish too, after all. Given the intense way he had watched Parting of Ways she thought he might be convinced. They might just have to arrange another marathon in a couple of weeks.
She was glad that she had all of Sunday to sleep. The hour long nap on Ducky’s couch did not make up for the missed night of sleep. Thinking of a warm shower before bed, it took a moment after getting out of her car to realized that the porch light was burned out again. Stupid thing. This time instead of simply replacing the bulb she was going to look at the wiring. Fortunately the moon was almost full and she could see the path to the front door quite easily. Despite the rumors that floated around work she was not a vampire and could not see in the dark.
“You left your cell phone at Ducky’s.” Startled, Abby had her purse raised over her had and was ready to strike before she realized who had spoken.
“Damn it Gibbs, you scared me !” In the dim light she could just make out where he leaned against the wall, his arms crossed and a slight frown marring his face. “Halloween’s not for a couple of weeks yet.”
“If you had decent lighting...”
“My lighting is fine...” Squinting to make the key fit in the lock she paused. “When it works, that is. I’ll deal with it tomorrow.”
“You’d be bettor off looking at new apartments.” Before following Abby into the apartment Gibbs took one last glance around the neighborhood. It was about as far from his quiet tree lined street as it was possible to get. He’d grumbled about it the first time he had dropped Abby off at home years ago, and his opinion hadn’t changed.
“Don’t be such a fuddy duddy Gibbs. Just because there aren’t any white picket fences doesn’t make this a bad place. Charlie next door is a bouncer, and he’d come running if I needed help ever. And Butch downstairs always offers to carry my groceries for me.” She was glad that Gibbs saw past her tattoos and loud music, but sometimes he forgot that they were a part of her. She fit in here, among these people.
“And if I ran the names of everyone how many warrants would I come up with?”
“Nineteen, but eight of those are for Gina Marie. Soliciting charges, each one under a different name. Three are Bennie’s, but he has cancer and the pot makes him hurt less. None of the others are for anything serious.” Tossing her purse on the table she sat at one of the kitchen chairs and stooped forward to unlace her boots.
“Abbs...”
“Gibbs, I know you didn’t drive out here to hassle me about my neighbors, and I’m guessing that if we had a case you would have mentioned it by now. Why are you here?” Her shoes off, Abby stretched out her feet and wiggled her toes, taking a moment to admire the new nail polish color she had put on the previous day.
“You didn’t answer your phone.” Without asking Gibbs opened the fridge and took out two bottles of beer. Using the edge of the counter to pop off the lids he set one on the table next to Abby and took a pull of his own.
“Since you know Ducky has my cell, I’m sure he told you why I didn’t answer.” Picking up the beer in one hand she stared at the label. “Shouldn’t you be at home with your company?”
“My company left this morning, not long after you did. I’m not dumb enough to leave her alone in my house; I might come home to a lack of furniture. Again. I wouldn’t have even let her sleep there if it wasn’t so late when she showed up last night.”
“You don’t have to explain, Gibbs. It’s none of my business.” A pretend yawn meant to give Gibbs a hint about the late hour turned into a really one. Gibbs, however, seemed to be as immune to catching yawns as he was everything else. Instead of moving to leave he sat down on the chair opposite her.
“You left my house pretty quick this morning Abbs. Didn’t even remember to take your coffee with you. If you can call it coffee with all that sugar in it.”
“Tastes more like a Caf-Pow! that way. And I explained that this morning. I was tired.”
“If you were just tired you would have gone home instead of driving out to Reston to see Ducky.” His hands rested lightly on the table, and Abby had the uncomfortable feeling of being in the interrogation room at work.
“It’s late Gibbs. if you have a point can you get to it already?”
“You were friends with Diane. Good enough friends, in fact, that she talked to you after we divorced. Since she wouldn’t even talk to Ducky...’
“Is it a crime, Special Agent Gibbs, to be friends with your ex?” She tried to smile, to tease, but it was late and he was uncomfortably close to figuring things out.
“It would be if Tony tried it.” Gibbs folded his fingers together and leaned forward. “I think it’s interesting that you’d be friends with one of my exes and literally run away from one you had never met.”
“We’vemetbefore,” Abby muttered.
“What?” Gibbs asked, no surprise evident in his voice.
“Stacy and I have met before, okay? I didn’t really want to repeat the experience.” Restless, Abby got out of the chair and paced the kitchen, carrying the beer bottle with her.
“Stacy and I were already divorced when you started at NCIS.”
“Don’t worry about it, Gibbs. I was just tired this morning and I over reacted. I’m sure if I stayed we would have had a perfectly civil breakfast together with nice , polite discussion abut the weather. Colder than usual for this time of the year, isn’t it?”
“You don’t over react when it comes to people. If anything you give them too many second chances.”
“People can change, Gibbs. You have to give them a chance.” If she hoped to distract him she failed miserably.
“When did you meet Stacy, and when the hell did she say to you?”
“It’s late, and I really need to...”
“What did she say, Abby?” he was standing now, his finger tips still resting on the table, his mouth pressed into a thin line, his eyes narrowed. She knew this look. It was pointless to evade any longer.
“It was about five years ago She came looking for you, but you were still in Paris, wrapping up that case. When Stacy couldn’t find you she did some investigating of her own, trying to find out what you were up to. She wanted you back. You should have seen her smile when I told her you were divorced again. Cat and cream. She didn’t want to be a mom to poor Emily but she obviously didn’t want to be alone either. I told her I’d let you know she had visited and she left.” Her beer bottle was still half full, but Abby gulped it all down.
“That wasn’t all she said.” He knew Stacy, knew how vindictive she could get. Even violent, as the thin scar hidden by his hair attested. He also knew that Abby didn’t rattle easily. The only times he could recall seeing her upset was when she’d told him about her autopsy dream a few days before Ari showed up and the day Kate died.
“That was the just of it. It was five years ago, do you really expect word for word details?”
“I expect the truth.”
“It was stupid. Just a stupid argument. I hated the way she was talking about you though. Like you’d come back to DC and just fall at her feet, like all she had to do was smile and show a little cleavage and you’d take her back. I told her you’d never fall for her act. She said I was a silly girl in love with my boss, and too blind to see anything else. Told me to grow up and get used to the idea that I could never have what I wanted, and that she would be the forth Mrs. Gibbs. I didn’t think she’d wait this long to try, though. For a month after you came back from Paris I kept expecting to see her every time I came up to the bull pen." That should be enough to satisfy him. She had glossed over a few things, left out some of the cruder insults that had been hurled. Not that she had been blameless in that regard, but for the most part she had been too stunned to say much.
"Was she right?" Gibbs stood silently for a full minute watching her intently before he spoke. Abby's beer bottle fell from her grasp, somehow managing to hit the floor without shattering. It rolled under the refrigerator.
"Obviously she wasn't right Gibbs. Do you remember marrying the same woman twice? I know you spend most of your time at home in the basement, but I hope you would have noticed another person sleeping in your bed."
"That wasn't what I meant and you know it."
"If you mean her accusing me of being in love with my boss then no, she wasn't right." Abby took a deep breath, using the fraction of a second to make a decision that might change everything. No, one way or another it would change everything. "I wasn't in love with you then. It happened much more gradually than that."
Abby steeled herself for Gibbs' response, expecting anything from a slap at the back of her head to a proclamation of undying love. Not that Gibbs would start spouting poetry or get down on his knees and propose, but he might give her one of those smiles that grew slowly across his face and made his eyes twinkle and ask her to spend the following day working on his boat. She waited, not daring to breath, for a full minute.
"Oh."
"Oh?" His expression hadn't even changed. She told him he held her heart (metaphorically, because the literal interpretation was just ewww) and his response wasn't even a word. A single syllable uttered in a normal tone. If she stayed under his cool gaze for another moment she just might scream. As quickly as if she was on the spinning chair in her lab she turned and fled the room, heading for the sanctuary of her bedroom. She locked the door, something she never did, and flung herself onto the black satin comforter that covered her bed.
What was she going to do? She couldn’t continue working at NCIS, not now that he knew how she felt. It had been almost perfect, the lighthearted teasing, the jokes about underwear, friendly kisses on the cheek and the energy that sparkled between them. Why had she gone and ruined it? Now his comments and touches would be guarded and the special friendship that they had shared was ruined.
She’d have to look for a job elsewhere, that was all there was to it. The FBI had approached her more than once, and on a more informal noteFornell had commented that if she ever wanted a less demanding boss he had a spare lab coat. She’d never taken him seriously, but he wouldn’t be a bad guy to work for. Agent Sacks reminded her of Tony a bit and the ME over in the Hoover building was a friend of Ducky’s. They’d met for lunch half a dozen times. She might have to tame down her wardrobe in the beginning but she could do it. At least she’d be able to stay in the city.
“Abby.” A series of three sharp raps sounded against the wood door, accompanied by Gibbs’ slightly muffled voice. Abby bit her lip to keep from answering.
“Abbs, open the door, we need to talk.”
Rolling over on to her back, Abby stared at the ceiling. There was a dark smudge in one spot where she had thrown a boot once, trying to silence the upstairs neighbor, and in the far corner a spider was constructing a web.
“I’m not going away. You can open the door or I will.”
Deciding that he wouldn’t actually break down the door, or if he did he would fix it, Abby did not move. She tried to avoid thinking about the man on the other side of the door by instead planning out how to approachFornell about a career change. She couldn’t wait until he came to the NCIS building, she’d have to go to him. Maybe if she...
“See anything interesting?” The mattress moved under her, readjusting to additional weight as Gibbs laid down on the bed next to her.
“Gibbs, how did you...” Lifting her head Abby was able to see the bedroom door, now open. “That’s not fair. It was locked.”
“And I unlocked it. A talent of mine.” Clasping his fingers together Gibbs rested them behind his head and looked up at the ceiling in a mirror of Abby’s pose.
“An illegal one.” It was a skill one of his snitches had taught him, and he had taught her. It had come in handy more than once, but she didn’t appreciate it tonight. “I’m tired Gibbs. I want to go to bed.”
“I’ve been married four times.” He didn’t turn to acknowledge her, but continued to stare at the ceiling.
“What? I thought you had three ex-wives.” Something told her that he wasn’t miscounting. Rolling on her side to better see him, Abby pulled her knees up into a fetal position.
“I met Shannon when I was twenty-two, when I came home for leave to visit my mother. It took me half of my leave to get her to say yes to a date, and I’ve never been more nervous in my life than I was that night. She was beautiful, with bright red hair and a temper to match. She wrote to me when I left, and I called her when I could. We waited two years before getting married. She was killed a few months before our tenth anniversary. She and Kelly, our daughter.”
“Oh Gibbs.” Forgetting the pain in her own heart she reached out and touched his cheek with her fingers. She left her hand on his warm skin, feeling the vibrations as he continued to speak.
“I’m glad you didn’t know me then. People like to call me a bastard now, and the title is well earned, but it’s nothing compared to who I was in the years after Shan and Kelly were murdered.”
“And then you met Annie,” Abby whispered. Annie was the only one of Gibbs’ exes that she had never met, and she didn’t know anything about her except name and hair color. She had always wondered if Annie had been the one to break Gibbs’ heart and make him guard it so harshly. Evidently she had been wrong.
“Then I met Annie.” Gibbs glanced at her briefly out of the corner of his eyes. “She was a witness on a case. One night after we had been dating a while I came home from work and she was waiting for me, and I thought that the house wasn’t quite so empty when someone else was there. We were married for almost two years before she decided that she didn’t want to come in second to my job anymore. Last I heard she was remarried to man who owns a string of pizza parlors and probably comes home at five o’clock every day.”
The idea of Gibbs running a pizza parlor was almost enough to make her smile. “You weren’t meant for that kind of job. Anyone who really knew you would understand that.” She understood. It was a trait they shared, though she was better at putting the work away and relaxing when she could. She might be able to teach him to relax, but it would take some doing. Five or ten years at least.
“Diane told me once that I was married to my job and she felt like my mistress. Stacy was more blunt than that; she said I was an emotionless bastard who didn’t know what love was.”
“Oh.” Abby pulled her hand away from where it had still been resting on Gibbs’ cheek. Caught up in learning about the past Gibbs so rarely shared she had almost forgotten how they came to be here in the first place. Now it sunk in what he was really saying. He didn’t love her. No more than he had loved the other women who had temporarily filled his life.
Frowning at the loss of contact Gibbs rolled onto his side. With a hand wrapped around her waist he tugged Abby towards him until they were touching, her knees against his thigh and her forehead pressed to his shoulder.
“At the time I thought she might be right. It was more relief than pain when the divorce papers came. It wasn’t until I started working with Ducky that I began to see the members of my team as anything other than coworkers. He was the first person I could genuinely call a friend since Shannon died.”
“It’s impossible not to be friends with Ducky. He’s something special.” She would miss Ducky. There would still be visits to his home and the occasional lunch dates, but it would be hard not to see him every day. He would be the hardest one to tell that she was quitting, after Gibbs of course.
“When Ari had Ducky I was worried and angry. When he killed Kate I was sad and angry." He paused then, and Abby wondered if he was remembering that night in the rain, like she was. She pulled tighter into him, counting the beats of his heart until he spoke again. "But when he took potshots at your window... God Abby I’ve never been more terrified in my life. If anything had happened to you...”
“Nothing did. I had you and Tony protecting me.” She didn’t like to think of that night, not ever.
“And if things had been different, just one detail changed... I don’t think I could have buried a woman I loved a second time.”
“Ari’s gone, and you don’t ever have to...” Abby froze, her eyes wide as she realized what he had said. “Gibbs?”
“You have a question Abbs?” When she dared to look him in the eyes he was smiling at her, a teasing half smile that rarely used while at work. His blue eyes were twinkling at Abby was glad she was lying down. She was feeling a little faint.”
“No. No question.” She leaned into him, breathing deeply to take in the scent of Ivory soap, musk and sawdust.
“Abbs?” Two fingers under her chin applied light pressure and she was looking back up at him. “You matter more than the job.”
He wrapped both arms around her then, holding her tight against him. Contented, Abby smiled. Just before she drifted off to sleep she felt a gentle kiss pressed against her cheek. In the morning when they woke up she'd have to teach Gibbs that there were places other then her cheek and forehead that she expected to be kissed. She couldn't wait until morning.
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